大象传媒

When a new baby arrives, parents can be inundated with requests from friends and family to “just pop round” and meet the little one.

But what do new parents really need in those first few days and weeks and how can visitors best share their pleasure without wearing them out?

Ellie Gibson, one of the hosts of the Scummy Mummies podcast, and parenting blogger Clemmie Telford gave their tips and advice to 大象传媒 Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour.

Ellie Gibson’s tips for visiting new parents and their baby

1. "Limit visits to 20 minutes. New mums are tired. They just want a cuddle and a whinge about giving birth. Let them have that, then go away."

2. "The mum will probably not be looking or feeling her best. Make her feel better by turning up in old pyjamas, ideally with milk down the front, and hair you haven't washed for a fortnight."

3. "Don't tell her she looks tired. She knows."

4. "If you already have older kids, don't bring them to the visit. Kids are noisy and sticky and full of germs. They will remind the new mum that she will never not be tired again, and of what she has to look forward to - years of cooking fish fingers three times a week and shouting ‘put your shoes on!’."

5. "Don't ask what you can do to help - just thinking of an answer can feel like work. Look around and see how you can save her a job - reload the dishwasher, hang out the washing, clean the hob, show the husband a modicum of physical affection."

6. "If you really want to help, take the baby out out. Well, not to a karaoke bar or anything, but even a quick walk around the block is good - the baby gets some fresh air, and the mum gets some proper peace and quiet. Mind you, some babies are really into karaoke."

7. "Say the baby is beautiful. Even if it isn't."

8. "Don't say the name is ridiculous. Even if it is. Let the parents enjoy thinking they have chosen something unique for their special little treasure. Don't tell them there are already three Merlins in your kid's nursery class."

Clemmie Telford’s tips for visiting new parents

1. "Unless you’re really good friends or family, don’t visit them straight away. Give them a good couple of weeks to adjust to their new life."

2. "If you are going to visit, before you arrive ask if there’s anything you can get them, a pint of milk, a loaf of bread, some breast pads."

3. "My top tip would be always bring food, although chocolate and biscuits are very nice, there’s nothing better than a meal, a lasagne. A friend of mine left one on the doorstep and just text me to say it was there, and it was probably the best gift I’ve ever received."

4. "If you are going to bring gifts, ones for the baby are really lovely, but what about the mum? She’s just been through pregnancy and labour, so anything that pampers her would be really well received."

5. "Don’t forget any other siblings. It can be hard for them suddenly sitting on the sidelines so either offer to take them out to the park or for a hot chocolate around the corner, or maybe bring them a book or a magazine, or a small toy to play with."

More parenting advice, articles and videos can be found on the Woman’s Hour website.

Woman’s Hour is broadcast on 大象传媒 Radio 4 at 10am on weekdays, and 4pm on Saturdays.

All episodes are available to download via the 大象传媒 Sounds app.