´óÏó´«Ã½

Tantrums are an almost inevitable part of childhood. But with schools closed and leisure centres, libraries and playgrounds shut for the foreseeable future to slow the spread of Coronavirus, families are likely to be spending much more time cooped up indoors together.

Emily Jones, Professor of Infant Neurodevelopment and Autism at the Birkbeck Babylab, spoke to Woman’s Hour about why children have tantrums and shared advice on what parents can do to keep calm and cope with them...

“Almost all small children have tantrums," says Emily Jones. “It’s showing that they’re developing their own ideas, their own goals, their own thoughts about things, and that’s really important.

“What unfortunately happens is their communication skills can’t keep up and their ability to be independent can’t keep up, and that’s what can lead to tantrums.”

“My daughter had a meltdown this morning because she wanted to wear her brother’s trousers that he had on, which were of course far too big for her, and she found that quite challenging.

“I try, in the beginning, to head it off at the pass if I notice. So I try to distract her, find something exciting for her to wear too or give her something else that he has.”

“The ideal thing is if you can cut it off before it gets to that point. So avoid the toy aisle if you can possibly do that. Set out clear expectations in the beginning. Try to head them off at the pass. Distract them as soon as you see the early signs.

“But if they get to the point where they are having a full blown tantrum, sometimes all you can do is stand next to them and wait until they’ve finished. Sometimes all you can do is carry them out of the shop to a safe place and wait until they’ve finished, because in that moment they’re not really capable of processing very much other information.

“Sometimes there’s no way of avoiding it and we have to let it burn out and then we talk about it afterwards and try to talk about strategies.”

“It’s going to be a huge challenge for a lot of families, particularly those who live in a small flat and who have no garden. It’s going to be very difficult to go out, so it's about really thinking ahead about what kind of routines we can set in place. You know, clear expectations for children and as many different activities that we can think about that we can do inside as possible.

“Try to have a visual schedule so they can see what we’re doing at each time of the day. You know, if your child is at nursery, you can mimic the schedule as much as possible. So snacks at the same time, naps at the same time, lunch at the same time as they do at nursery. That all might help.”

“It certainly helps if you can be calm and try to keep your head, that’s the best thing. If you get wound up, they’ll get even more wound up. But obviously that’s massively difficult to do when your child is having a meltdown, particularly in a public place or when you’ve got to go to school.

“If they sense that you’re stressed and you’re anxious, they do pick up on that. Particularly also, with Coronavirus we’re going to get to a point where their choices are going to be reduced, their routines are going to be changed, the uncertainties will be massively higher. So it’s quite possible that kids will be finding that difficult and some children will express it through tantrums.”

“It’s going to be particularly difficult for families who have children with special educational needs or developmental difficulties like autism or ADHD particularly. Children who struggle with being confined or need a lot of activity, need a lot of exercise, or children who struggle particularly with uncertainty.

“So kids with autism often find it really hard when their routine changes, if they’re uncertain about what will be happening next. For them, things like visual schedules are going to be really critical. A lot of families use them anyway, but being able to set up a routine in the home and having support from wherever possible.

“If there are people who are able to Skype them, if they can access that, people who can send packages of activities - whatever can help.”

Listen to more about tantrums on Woman's Hour on ´óÏó´«Ã½ Sounds and follow us on and .