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My husband died and 10 days later my father was taken into care. Surfing lessons helped me cope with the devastating loss

3 November 2017

When Susanne Powell traveled from Scotland over to County Antrim in Northern Ireland for her 50th birthday celebration, she was in far from a celebratory frame of mind.

Susanne (left) with cousin Denise (right) who organised the trip

Susanne had suffered two difficult losses in quick succession in early 2017.

Her husband was killed in a motorcycle accident in America.

The shock of this event caused a rapid deterioration in her father’s dementia that led to him being moved out of her home and into care home 10 days later.

Having listened to Susanne was aware that it significantly impacted on the emotions of some people.

But she was blown away by the transformative effect that being on, under and near the water could have on her outlook.

鈥業 could just go back to being me, I didn鈥檛 have to be the grieving widow鈥�

Dealing with Loss

Susanne explains the healing powers of a recent surf trip to help her cope with her loss

Stages aren鈥檛 so simple

Suzy Greaves, editor of Psychologies magazine, says that while the well-known five stages of loss - - are helpful, grief can not be reduced to a simple checklist.

‘I lost my parents as teenager, that's 30 years ago, and even now I still feel sad and I still feel angry. I don't think there is a process to grief in a neat package.’

‘When it was first devised, the idea was it was a process that you went through which I don’t think is really helpful. However knowing and acknowleding that you are going to feel all of these things, maybe at the same time, is helpful.’

‘People want us to move on. People us to be better. People just want us to be happy, to heal and find a way through. But it takes time to heal.’

‘There's something called it not only changes us in a bad way but in a great way. We start to create more meaning in our lives we start to appreciate life more. You go wow, life is short, how am I going to make the most of my life?’

Susanne鈥檚 interview in full

  • Susanne joins Gillian Russell to talk about the positive impact water is having on her as she comes to terms with being a widow and single mum after the loss of her husband 10 months ago.

Further advice on grief

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