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Sheryl Sandberg may have wanted us all to “Lean In”, but what about trying to change the system, so it works for you? City boss Helena Morrissey - who founded the 30% Club to get more women on boards, and is also a mum of NINE - is convinced that now is the time. Easier said than done maybe, but Helena has shared her top career tips with Woman’s Hour to help you carve out the life you want, from mentors to managing maternity leave…

“It's about a big change rather than just having a few more women squeezed into the male workplace,” says Helena.

“This is our moment to show that we add something. It's not just about women wanting to be the same as men, or treated equally as men. We need to be valued for what we bring to the table.

“Women have a lot to offer in terms of empathy and ability to connect and develop relationships, and those are really valuable skills. So it's a good time to be a girl, but also make sure that we are being girls and not feeling that we have to emulate men.”

2. Find an atmosphere you can thrive in

“In my first job I was ‘leaning in’ to an environment that was just not suited to me,” says Helena. “It was very masculine, very hierarchical, I was an outsider and I wasn't particularly welcome for the things I could bring.

“I think it's best not to ‘lean in’ to something that doesn't resonate with you, that isn't conducive to you succeeding. It's important to recognise it's not all about you ‘just trying harder’ - but actually to find somewhere where you can do better.”

“Sometimes women have great ideas and then this fear of what might go wrong puts them off trying - just focus on the goal,” advises Helena.

“The reality is, if you are going to have a successful career, you will fail at certain points. Setbacks are inevitable - it's how you respond. Give it your best shot and just remember that you can pick yourself up. It is part of every single successful person's career that they've had those setbacks.”

4. You don’t have to come up with all the answers by yourself

“It's really important to have allies and mentors. Somebody who is a sounding board and can give advice is incredibly helpful,” says Helena.

“If you feel there's nobody who understands you, that you really are alone, then in all honesty my advice is to try and find somewhere different to work, because there will be a place where you can talk to people.

“And if you feel you're being discouraged because you're a woman, talk to a man about that. It’s really important to have male allies as well as female because they can often do something about it.”

One thing Helena and Sheryl Sandberg agree on is that if you want to succeed at work and have a family, you’re going to need some help.

“The only way to have more women progressing is to have more shared responsibilities when it comes to families,” says Helena, who’s a huge advocate of shared parental leave.

“It’s obviously very important to have a partner who is supportive - my husband has blazed a trail, almost 20 years as a stay at home dad.

“But it doesn’t have to be as binary as that. I don't want the message to be 'oh it has to be one’ - a woman or a man - who has to decide who's having the career. We have the opportunity in the years ahead to be much more flexible. We're going to be living longer, and technology enables us to stay in touch and work from anywhere, any time.”

Your employer can’t really ask you what your plans are, but Helena points out that you can tell them what you see your future looking like, and the kind of working life you want when you return.

“If a woman wants to come back to their career, continue to be promoted, to get great work and so on, it's very important they speak up and ask for certain things,” suggests Helena, who was overlooked for a more senior job after having her first child - and promptly left the company.

“I think that is the new model, rather than ‘I'm pregnant, I’m not talking about it and I'll come back when I'm ready.’ I would just encourage that discussion. It's a short time in someone's career.

“But also don't beat yourself up,” she adds as a message to anyone at the very beginning of that parenting journey. “Give yourself time - if you don't get out of your PJs all day, it doesn't matter.”

“None of us are robots - the real stuff carries on, whatever stage you're at, but it's just part of life,” says Helena, who with nine children and one grandchild knows a thing or two about juggling.

“Work out what's important to you and then prioritise those things. For us, it’s having supper together, listening to each other; how has their day been, what's on their mind? The moments in my life I regret are not so much a school play that I missed, but much more when I realise afterwards that someone really wanted to talk and I wasn't there or I was listening to somebody else.

“Young people coming out of Uni, the next generation, expect to play a part in bringing up their families. And I think that it’s a great moment to recognise that actually it's a balance in work and at home that we're all striving for.”

Listen to about her career, family life and new book – A Good Time to be a Girl: Don’t Lean In, Change the System.