'A mini-MOT for your cervix'
Former glamour model-turned-vlogger Jess Davies talks about her smear test experience
December 2020
Being invited for your first smear test is like an initiation into womanhood; booking in a mini-MOT for your cervix means an extra half hour off on your lunch break and a poor attempt at convincing the nurse you’re growing your pubes out as part of a feminist statement, and not because you chose to watch another episode of EastEnders last night instead of giving your undercarriage some TLC. Smear tests aka cervical screenings are a vital part of a woman’s life routine, saving thousands of lives a year by detecting any potential abnormal cells and nipping them in the flower-bud before they’re given a chance to bloom. But smear tests and the wait for the results that follow can be a worrying and lonely time, especially for those hearing words like ‘HPV’ and ‘colposcopy’ for the first time. I’m 26 years old and have had two smear tests; one positive for HPV and abnormal cells, and one negative.
When I was first invited for a smear test at the age of 23, I didn’t hesitate to book in, my teen years of going for spray tans all but diminishing any embarrassment I had left around getting my 'woman parts' out for a professional. I headed along on my own for the screening and the nurse was friendly enough, albeit numb to seeing her ninth vagina of the day. The procedure involved inserting a speculum aka an appliance similar to a car jack to open up your cervix, and what looked like a long earbud to swab your cervical wall. I don’t remember much pain - more discomfort - but the aftermath of what followed may have had a helping hand in trumping any soreness.
After a few weeks of not giving much thought to my cervix, a letter in the post broke my ignorant bliss. I looked at the results printed in black and white: ‘You test positive for HPV and potential abnormal cells, please book in for a colposcopy at the hospital.’ HPV. Abnormal cells. Colposcopy. These were three things I had no knowledge about, more than that, I had never even heard of a colposcopy and the only whiff I had previously of the term HPV was regarding a vaccine I received when I was a teenager. I headed to Google, my trusty faux friend to enlighten me on the status of my vagina. It told me I had a sexually transmitted infection, that I was going to have an examination of my anus and that there’s a possibility I might be dying. This friend wasn’t so trustworthy after all. A little more digging helped comfort my worry and shame attached to the term ‘STI’, enlightening me on HPV and how 4 out of 5 young adults will have it at some point in their lives. Most cases go unnoticed due to the lack of symptoms whilst our bodies naturally fight off the infection. I also quickly realised I had been searching for a colonoscopy and not a colposcopy, which was a *very* different screening. I warmed to the colposcopy idea, a magnified view of my cervix wasn’t an offer that came around often. A few more minutes searching helped reassure me that abnormal cells don’t automatically mean you have cancer, but that it’s important to spot any cell changes before they start to develop into something which had the potential to be a lot more concerning. I found solace in these search results, but it didn’t rid the worry and confusion that was thrust upon me. My mum cried, also confused about what everything meant, and the few weeks wait between the results letter arriving and the appointment at the hospital is a lonely and lengthy time to be left with your dread.
Why You Shouldn't Fear The Smear
Jess opens up about what really happens when you go for a smear test
Settling in with your mate to watch a tv screen that鈥檚 live-streaming from the inside of your vagina gives a whole other meaning to 鈥楴etflix and chill鈥�!
On the day of my appointment I was joined by a friend - you’re recommended to bring someone along in an ironic show of comfort as they reluctantly partake in one of your most uncomfortable life experiences to date. Settling in with your mate to watch a tv screen that’s live-streaming from the inside of your vagina gives a whole other meaning to ‘Netflix and chill’! The nurses were extremely friendly and helped ease my nerves with chit-chat about holidays and my weekend plans. They explained how HPV was completely normal and not usually anything to worry about, hearing it from a trusted professional and not a search engine helped solidify my ease. The procedure itself was less painful than the smear test, as it was more about the viewing of the cervix rather than scraping any cells. After roughly five minutes of hairdressers chit-chat and examining my body the nurse informed me that there was no sign of any abnormal cells and that I was good to go. It turns out sometimes abnormal cells can go away on their own and no further treatment is needed - our bodies are quite simply amazing.
Having a smear test and a colposcopy can be a scary and daunting event for anyone to go through, especially a young woman on her own. Big words are thrown at you by healthcare professionals and you’re left to sit with uncertainty for weeks on end, convincing yourself that something is wrong with you. But being armed with the knowledge of what’s happening inside your vagina is a blessing we shouldn’t take for granted. There’s small steps you can take if you’re worried about having a smear test, or suffer from painful endometriosis, such as talking through the procedure with your nurse, researching the facts on legit websites and requesting the nurse uses a smaller speculum to ease any pain. The second time my smear test came around, I made sure to triple check at the doctors when I was due for a screening, my ignorance surrounding my cervix no more, I was determined not to miss another opportunity to take control of my body, my health and my future.
This article was originally published on 5 February 2020.
