大象传媒

What comes to mind when you hear the word gossip? During the Middle Ages, it meant ‘women who supported other women during childbirth’. So, it’s no wonder we often find sitting down with a cup of tea for a good gossip with a friend a cathartic and comforting experience.

For a very special programme, 大象传媒 Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour dedicated an hour to looking at gossip - the good, the bad and the ugly. Emma Barnett was joined by a range of gossip ‘experts’ - from friends who bond over a juicy piece of gossip, to professional gossips and the so-called ‘International Queen of Gossip’.

Keep reading to learn more about the art of gossip and why we simply cannot resist it.

Rubina Pabani and Poppy Jay are the hosts of the award-winning 大象传媒 podcast Brown Girls Do It Too. No topic is off the table, and they use their platform to speak up about those subjects that are often seen as taboo.

“Gossiping is so entrenched in our communities,” says Poppy Jay. “I get gossiped about all the time. I was the first in my family to have a divorce and that was terrible. It was this big thing. Prior to that, I was a good Muslim girl, I was really obedient.”

“Especially coming from an Asian community, if you say: ‘Oh, she's divorced. This happened to her,’ that opens the door for lots of other people and makes it accessible for people to talk about,” says Rubina Pabani.

Comedian Rachel Parris and improv actor Lauren Shearing perform in the theatre show 'Austentatious: An Improvised Jane Austen Novel’. They are best friends and self-confessed gossips. They think gossip can help bring women together and build strong bonds.

“A good gossip with a cup of tea or a glass of wine is essential for me. It really shows you who you can trust. It's incredibly cathartic to get together with the women you trust and know that what you say isn't going to leave that room,” says Lauren Shearing. “You're in a safe space, and you can hang together in that way. I love it.”

“In any good friendship, you don't spend the entire time talking about other people,” says Rachel. “You're talking about your own lives, of course. But you can find common ground in talking about someone else. Often even if it's negative, it's said with love or care or worry about someone. I think it's often coming from a good place, and I think it results in a positive within that friendship.”

“Jane Austen is amazing at showing you the whole range of gossip,” says Lauren Shearing. “It's a huge part of her novels.”

“Sometimes it's a really important bit of information that women are passing to each other,” says Rachel Parris. “Jane Austen shows what happens when men particularly don't gossip, what happens when they don't share vital information, what happens when Colonel Brandon doesn't disclose about Willoughby and it puts Eleanor in danger, what happens when Darcy doesn't disclose and spread information about Wickham, and it puts young women in danger again.

“When you look at things like the #MeToo movement and the WhatsApp groups we know about in comedy with women sharing information about predatory men, if that had happened in those novels, these terrible events may not have happened."

“Originally, the word gossip denoted a godparent at Christian baptism,” says Professor Melanie Tebbutt from Manchester Metropolitan University. “Over time, that spiritual relationship became more of a physical relationship. The ‘gossips’ were invited into a birthing room to help and support the woman, bringing food and bringing drink.

“It was a space from which men were excluded. Men were extremely curious as to what went on there and what they were talking about. There was this sense that women were going away from where they should be, back at the house, getting the dinner ready. But there was this sense that women were occupying a space through their speech, that was separate.”

"That idle gossip that is fairly harmless is really important in friendships, as long as you're at ease with the fact that you will sometimes be part of the gossip,” says Rachel Parris.

“People are always going to talk about you behind your back because you talk about people behind their backs,” says podcaster Rubina Pabani. “You’ve just got to know that exists. Sometimes the purpose of gossip is just to shame you, just to make you feel bad about something. But you have to silence those voices around you.”

“It's super fun,” says improv actor Lauren Sheering. “If there are people whose behaviour is a bit transgressive, a bit exciting, perhaps something you wouldn't do or approve of, it's really exciting to be able to talk about that.

“Or if there's something you've noticed that you want to share with your friends. We've got a good friend who is in a new relationship, and I want to say to them: ‘This is exciting and fun. But have you also noticed they look a bit like brother and sister?’”

Not only can gossip help us make and strengthen friendships, but throughout history, Dr Natalie Hanley-Smith, Associate Lecturer at Oxford Brookes University, says it was used to help us to determine right from wrong and develop our own morals.

“Towards the end of the 18th century and going into the 19th century, it allowed women to discuss the rules of conduct and their moral values,” says Dr Natalie Hanley-Smith. “These aren't values that have been written down anywhere, they're really quite ambiguous about what sort of behaviour can be condoned, and what sort of behaviour is too transgressive. It allows women to police each other's behaviour a little bit.”

“Fundamentally, a lot of gossip is about the content of someone's character,” says journalist and author Marie Le Conte. “How they behave in private, how they behave in their personal life, can they be trusted, what do they really believe, etc.

“For example, in British politics, what matters is not just where you stand politically on X or Y issues, but also on who you know, who likes you, who doesn't like you, whether you're someone who can do a job and do it quietly, whether you're someone who would stab someone in the back, and so on.”

“Mean Girls is a great example of how gossip can break things and can be negative,” says TV and film critic, Hannah Flint. “There's this opening montage about Regina George, saying: ‘I hear she insures her hair for $10,000. I hear she does car commercials in Japan.’

“But then at the end, it becomes this real catalyst for chaos. When the burn book with all these false rumours gets released, suddenly all the women in the school just go mad. So, gossip can be really fun, but also kind of destructive.”

“The potential for gossip to cause harm is always there, particularly if it’s untrue,” says Dr Kathryn Waddington, who has been studying gossip for over 25 years. One of my participants a long time ago said: I always say, why are you telling me this? I don't know that I want to hear this. What's your motivation? Do you want me to act upon it or do you want me to spread it?’ So that's a good question to ask yourself before you spread gossip.”

Listen to the full bank holiday special all about gossip with Emma Barnett on 大象传媒 Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour by heading to 大象传媒 Sounds. Join the conversation on and @bbcwomanshour.