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The truth about running a business with your boyfriend

When you think of relationship milestones, you might think of the first date, the first holiday, the first time meeting each other’s parents.

But what about starting your first business together?

Going into business with your partner might seem ideal - why wait for someone to hire you both when you can employ yourselves, and spend plenty of quality time together?

But there are significant risks involved in starting a business, and if your ideas on spending and investing don’t match up, it could be a fast-track to arguments.

The 大象传媒 Money Clinic on Radio 4 has been inviting couples and families to open up about their relationships and their money habits with an expert to help them better understand each other.

Cliff and Poppy

Poppy and Cliff's story

Poppy, 24, and Cliff, 40, have been together for two years, and started a cereal café in Liverpool six months into their relationship. They sat down with counsellor Dee Holmes, of the relationship charity , to talk about the ups-and-downs of being both business partners and - well, actual partners.

Couples who live and work together need to trust each other completely, so communication is important.

And, , money has become a source of tension for the pair when it comes to making plans for their café.

“We have different philosophies when it comes to our outlook financially, and it’s just a constant source of tension for us both,” Cliff explains.

“We both have the same aim, we both share the same goal, but we’re struggling to reach it.”

“We’re at two extremes,” Poppy adds, “and I want more understanding from Cliff about how I feel about money.”

Dee Holmes says that couples who live and work together need to trust each other completely, so communication is important.

She tells Poppy and Cliff that they can better understand how their opposite attitudes to money have developed by looking back at their childhoods.

“I grew up in a single-parent family, but though we were poor my mum always instilled in us this ‘be happy’ philosophy,” Cliff says.

“It was this belief that you can get by, but that you spend some of your money on just enjoying life too. It’s made me less inclined to save and that’s followed me right up to my adult life.”

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But Poppy says her more frugal attitude to money comes from being raised by her grandparents as well as her mum.

“I don’t have any memories of my family spending money - my mum worked part-time on a low wage, and my grandparents were retired,” she says.

“I think I can act a bit like an old woman because of it. They were frugal and believed in being careful, and I’ve got a lot of that in me.”

Poppy moved to London as a teenager, where she says she had to be “intensely frugal”.

But for Cliff, taking risks are important when it comes to growing a business, it’s not always clear what exactly Poppy’s is saving for.

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“If I was to buy Poppy a gift, she feels guilty getting it because I’ve spent the money on it,” Cliff says.

“We own a cereal cafe which means us finding weird and wonderful cereals from around the world, which can be expensive,” he explains.

“In my head, I like to find new ones and if it’s £15, well then we’ll probably double that in profit. I don’t want to miss an opportunity and let a special box slip away that we’ll never be able to get again. But Poppy gets so anxious about spending the money.”

For Poppy, who does the majority of the accounting and bookkeeping, this feels like a lose-lose situation.

“If he doesn’t buy it, I feel guilty that I’ve stopped potential profit, but if he goes ahead and buys it, I feel worried about the cost,” she explains.

“I feel like if I’m saying no, it’s probably for a reason, because I’m just more aware of our bank balance. I’m not saving for anything particularly, it’s just safety and knowing it’s there,” she adds.

For Poppy, a rocky start to the business means she shoulders a lot of the financial worry.

“When we first opened and we weren’t making that much money, I’d tell you that and it felt like you didn’t like knowing about it,” she tells Cliff.

“So I ended up keeping a lot of that to myself. But we do pride ourselves on being two years together, and never having an argument."

Honesty and trust is important for businesses partners, because distrust in business could lead to distrust in the relationship itself.

Dee Holmes says honesty and trust is important for businesses partners, because distrust in business could lead to distrust in the relationship itself.

“We should have a little argument to clear the air,” Cliff adds, “but neither of us are argumentative and both our instinct is to back off and leave it.”

Dee suggests that sharing the accounts with Cliff might help ease some of Poppy’s anxiety.

“I’m not sure, because I want to buy things for the business in stages,” she explains, “I need to feel in control and know we have money saved for the rough months.”

By the end of the session, it looks like Poppy might be ready to hand over some of the control to Cliff.

But by the end of the session, it looks like Poppy might be ready to hand over some of the control to Cliff.

“I think I’m going to have to give some of the responsibility for handling the money to Cliff, because it’s becoming too big a job for me,” she says.

“It’s about us being part of a team.”

“I struggle with the ins and outs of finance and Poppy’s good at it, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t get involved to create more of a balance,” Cliff agrees.

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