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Good morning!

A story is told of a couple seeking a rabbi's advice to help overcome marital problems. The rabbi sees the husband first, and he explains how his wife is the problem: she doesn't understand the pressures he faces at work, and responds badly to his loving criticism. The rabbi listens carefully and tells him: "You are right."

Next, the wife comes in. Her husband is the problem, she says: he doesn't understand the difficulties of bringing up a family; nor does he support the children. The rabbi listens carefully and tells her: "You are right."

When the rabbi goes home and tells his wife about their visit, she asks him: "How could they both be right?" He thinks a moment, and then says:  "You are right."

At the end of the day, we must allow for difference and conflicting points of view.  It is for his reason that Judaism welcomes arguments, which are described as ‘arguments for the sake of heaven’.

In fact, the greatest prophets even argued with Heaven itself. After all, Abraham argued with God. Moses argued with God. Jeremiah argued with God. So did Job.

And the question is not just: why do Jews argue? I suppose everyone argues. The question is: Why is argument the standard form of a Jewish response to anything?

Although it’s good to talk and listen too – perhaps even holy – it is important to learn to disagree; to realize that others may be also right.

Lord, may we remember to listen as well as to talk, to argue and accept argument, to hear that honest voice again loudly, fearlessly and unequivocally, for our sake, for the sake of our children and for our future in God, in whose reflection alone we see ourselves as we are called on to become. 

Amen.