大象传媒

聽From comedian & writer Paul Kerensa:

With our kids, when a telling-off is needed, we resort to the Naughty Step. They sit and think about what they鈥檝e done, for, let me get this right 鈥� one year for every minute old they are. Or it could be the other way round. Ah yes, the 2 year old gets 2 minutes; the 5 year old 5 minutes. I鈥檝e started misbehaving hoping to get a sit-down for 37 minutes. No luck yet.

Recently I had to improvise. Out shopping, I threatened the naughty step, and had to carry through... but there was no Naughty Step. At home it鈥檚 at the bottom of the stairs 鈥� it鈥檚 where we keep it 鈥� but in the shopping centre... well let鈥檚 just say, avoid escalators.

Wherever we do it, the rule is: say sorry, we forgive, we forget, and the slate is wiped clean. The kids get it, and we hug it out... But now, sometimes, they鈥檝e started putting themselves there. They鈥檝e begun to know right from wrong.

As a grown-up I still do similar: sometimes I punish myself, on my mind鈥檚 naughty step 鈥� perhaps for longer than I ought to be there. It鈥檚 no 37-minute sit-down; it鈥檚 guilt, and self-resentment. We beat ourselves up for past actions. Us adults can find it just as tough as for the kids, to say 鈥渟orry鈥�... and, as is so often the difficult bit... mean it.

It鈥檚 frustrating too if authority figures have that inability to say sorry, and bring closure. Before forgetting there鈥檚 forgiving, before forgiving there鈥檚 what seems to be the hardest word, according to wise theologian Sir Elton of John.

I think of prayer in terms of politeness 鈥� how very English. Most prayers seem to be 鈥榩lease鈥�, 鈥榯hankyou鈥� or, crucially, 鈥榮orry鈥�. At the centre of the Lord鈥檚 Prayer is 鈥淔orgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.鈥� Poet Alexander Pope famously wrote: 鈥淭o err is human, to forgive divine.鈥� I will do wrong, but when I do, saying sorry 鈥� to God, to those I hurt 鈥� wipes the slate clean, just as by accepting others鈥� apologies, I can be a slate-wiper too.

So next time I put myself on that naughty step, I must remember that 鈥渟orry鈥� takes me off it. And then I鈥檒l run off, and try and play nicely with my brothers and sisters.