大象传媒

From Julia Neuberger, Senior Rabbi at the west London Synagogue:

It鈥檚 wedding season right now. Two Jewish weddings in rapid succession, one big one in Nice, in the most glorious venue overlooking the sea, and the other tiny, in a country house approached through a wildflower meadow. Both were gorgeous in different ways. But after movies such as My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Monsoon Wedding- and there are parallels in big fat Jewish, C of E, Hindu, Catholic, Sikh or Muslim ones - I鈥檓 left wondering about present day marriage. We human beings obviously need rituals to mark certain stages of life. Birth- baptism, baby naming or circumcision; maturation- confirmation, bar or bat mitzvah; deaths and funerals, and of course pairing off. Weddings have got bigger and fatter. Is that because so many people choose NOT to get married in western society, so, if you DO, you want to make a point? Is it just an excuse for a huge party, the like of which you鈥檒l never have again? Or is it, could it be, the rebirth of romance? I think it鈥檚 a mixture of all these, parties, dresses, flowers, food and drink鈥︹��. But underneath all the expense and the flummery, something important is going on, as we鈥檙e seeing the numbers of religious weddings grow again after a long lull. Those young people who DO decide to get married want a public statement of their vows to each other. They want the congregation to be their witnesses. They feel a need for the religious ritual. It鈥檚 NOT just about having a pretty setting. It鈥檚 about commitment- to each other and to a religious community. And, in an age when divorce was rising till recently, where marriage was and for many still is optional, it is heartening to see a real growth, in our community at least, of people wanting to make that public commitment, in the sight of God and their families and friends, genuinely expecting to stay together their whole lives. The beautiful settings are great. But what matters is a new season of serious intent, religious vows, and a deep commitment to making marriage work.