大象传媒

A spiritual writer I admire, Anthony De Mello, says that when you become guilt ridden, it鈥檚 not your sins you hate but yourself.

I don鈥檛 normally suffer from too much guilt 鈥� Catholic or otherwise. Yet in recent weeks I鈥檝e found myself fighting those negative feelings. And as you know-: 鈥渁 guilty conscience needs no other accuser.鈥�

It was time for a little chat with myself.

One of our biggest failures in life is allowing guilt to creep in and take over when things go wrong. That鈥檚 fatal.

In the ideal world though, my mistakes should open up the gateway to happier living. Once a person is determined to help themselves, nothing can stop them.

And I was determined.

What鈥檚 in the past cannot be undone, so it is essential not to let feelings of guilt linger. To keep on re-playing negative tapes won鈥檛 change what happened. I decided it was time to acknowledge what I was doing wrong and learn from it. No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future.

Turn the page and write a new chapter.

The best way to avoid making the same mistakes over and over again is to analyse why you made them in the first place. Once you recognise the patterns of behaviour that led you down the wrong path you鈥檙e less likely to go there again.

I began by accepting it was all my own fault.

I allowed myself to become a crisis oriented person; I left everything the last minute. I was living on the edge but I loved it. Yet I was putting reckless pressure on myself. And it鈥檚 not me. 聽I like to be prepared. I believe that failure is not fatal but failure to prepare invariably is. Some people work better under pressure 鈥� that鈥檚 how they get their kicks. 聽

I鈥檓 not like that.

My motto is to prepare for the worst, hope for the best and accept what God sends. 鈥淲e make our plans; the Lord determines our steps.鈥� (Proverbs 16:9).

In short live for today but prepare for tomorrow!