大象传媒

From Passionist priest, Father Brian D鈥橝rcy:

Delivering eulogies is an important part of my life. In these cold, dark days, it鈥檚 a daily task. I take them seriously; friends and family are both anxious and sensitive at funerals. An effective eulogy comfortably places the life of the loved one into the memory of those left behind.

I listen closely to what the family tells me and sincerely marry my own memories of the person with theirs.

The biggest temptation is to canonise the deceased. One elderly colleague once, quite rightly, reminded me, that I should ease off on the praise and leave something for God to do.

Mostly though, eulogies remind me that someday I鈥檒l be the one they鈥檙e talking about because death is as universal as life is. I鈥檝e learned that even though everyone dies eventually, not everyone lives life to the full. 聽

When I was training for the ministry one of the exercises we were asked to role play was to imagine your own funeral. Let the memories flow. Who, if anyone, will turn up for the service? 聽What will they say about me now that I鈥檓 dead? It鈥檚 a sobering thing to do. The effect was to convince me to not just strive for success but rather to leave behind something of value.

I was speaking recently at the funeral service of a friend, who had been a musician in his young days but in mid-life re-trained as an artist. He was successful at both. It struck me that those old spiritual masters were wise when they told their followers: All of us have at least two lives 鈥� and the second one begins the moment we realise we have only one life. It鈥檚 like a good half-time talk in a football game. It鈥檚 never too late to do the right thing.

Joan Baez the powerful folk singer said recently: 鈥淚f you sing meaningful songs, you have to be committed to living life that backs it up.鈥�

Most of all, eulogies must bring comfort.聽 And it鈥檚 always a comfort when families hear what Jesus said 鈥淒o not let your hearts be troubled; trust in God and trust in me.鈥� All will be well in the end.