´óÏó´«Ã½

Harvey Belovski, rabbi at Golders Green United Synagogue:

Ìý

A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I finally gave in.Ìý We’ve been discussing it for ages and we couldn’t quite agree when to do it.Ìý I would have preferred to have waited a bit longer, but she persuaded me that the time had come.

Ìý

What did we do, I expect you’re wondering? We gave our 13-year-old son Shmuel Yosef a phone.Ìý As far as we know, he’s the last in his school year to get one.Ìý Anyone who knows me, will know that I’m rarely seen without a phone stuck to my ear, so why all the angst?

Ìý

Mobile phones have clearly revolutionised the world.Ìý My children think it’s unbelievable that I didn’t have one until the late 90s.Ìý There would have been no point, as no-one I knew had one either!Ìý But I, and many other parents listening I’m sure, believe technology has its down sides – we all spend too much time staring at screens rather than talking, and kids need to develop real interpersonal skills, and not just with virtual friends.Ìý And that’s without the dangers of cyberbullying, accessing unsuitable content and time-wasting.

Ìý

Used well, a phone can of course be life and relationship affirming, but used without caution, I think it can stunt emotional and psychological development.Ìý And while shielding ourselves from possible problems by avoiding smart phones altogether is an option that – I think there’s a better way.

Ìý

The great Jewish thinker, Maimonides believed in what is known as the golden mean – finding a happy medium. He thought that the best route to achieving physical, mental and moral stability was by avoiding extremes.Ìý The Jewish Bible recommends not being too wicked, as well as not being too righteous.Ìý A middle way in food, drink, sex, and, I suggest, phone use, lets us care properly for body and soul.Ìý Uncontrolled use of anything is obviously damaging, but banning things just makes them more alluring.Ìý I recognised years ago that the best way to sell a book is to ban it!

Ìý

So Shmuel Yosef now has a phone and I feel sure he’ll use it sensibly.Ìý Trouble is, I’m not much of a role-model here.Ìý In fact, I’m already wondering who’s messaged while I’ve been on air.Ìý Looks like I need to remember Maimonides’ golden mean more than my son.