大象传媒

It鈥檚 been a strange week for me. Personal grief, and national grief all woven into one.

Monday would have been my Mum鈥檚 82nd聽birthday. It was a sad old day. So far - we have gotten through our first Christmas without her, our first New Year, and now her birthday. The hole she has left is so huge. Previously, I鈥檇 been ever practical and stoic about grief, and although I knew it would be hard, I never imagined losing Mum would be THIS hard.

And then on Tuesday 鈥� as a nation, we became the first country in Europe to reach 100,000 Covid deaths.

The sense of collective loss is overwhelming. Knowing that the friends and family of those 100,000 souls are all mourning, all having had a giant hole blasted into their lives.

I feel as a nation we鈥檙e hurting鈥� Beyond the deaths there鈥檚 the uncertainty. A myriad of questions every single day鈥�

It鈥檚 hard. And I think it鈥檚 right to acknowledge it鈥檚 hard. I鈥檒l admit that I cry watching the news sometimes, and some days I simply can鈥檛 watch it.

The uncertainty is there 鈥� stark, and uncomfortable.聽

For me, I鈥檓 trying to manage the uncertainty, reckoning that control is always a bit of an illusion anyway. Things can change in a moment. So I try to focus on what I CAN do.

When my daughter was so critically ill for so many years 鈥� we lived with constant uncertainty. I would break things down into the smallest chunk I could manage. Taking things day by day. And sometimes even a day would be too much. I would break the day down.

Eventually, I found that a bad morning didn鈥檛 have to mean a bad afternoon. It helped get me through some of the hardest and longest days of my life.

But most of all - I think we have to be kind.聽
Kind to ourselves 鈥� take the edge off the pressure. We don鈥檛 have to be perfect!聽
Kind to those around us 鈥� everyone is struggling in their own way.聽
Kind to the most disadvantaged in society 鈥� there is a lot.

One of my favourite Muslim sayings is 鈥� 鈥淕od is Kind and likes kindness鈥�. I honestly feel it is one of the best ways through any difficulty.聽

Take care and be kind to yourselves good people.