大象传媒

Well, because of the current circumstances, like we all have I鈥檝e been spending lots of time at home and subsequently spending a lot more time with my wife, Emma. I first met her through a friend who basically set us up. I was single and not really looking for anyone at the time, and marriage was definitely not on the cards but that鈥檚 where it ended up!

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Luckily, I quite like her so it鈥檚 been enjoyable for the most part, but adjusting in different seasons of life does come with it鈥檚 challenges. Anyone who enters into marriage convinced that it will consist of one long, eternal honeymoon, I really hope that happens for you but it wasn鈥檛 like that for me. It took work even though we love each other with all our heart. There are curve balls in life that roll our way and I鈥檝e had to learn to watch out for them.听

When my dad died 3 and a half years ago, I can see, looking back, that I lost my way in my marriage.听I closed down, shut myself off, and internalized my grief, as my default was to handle it alone. These actions were completely incompatible with the way Emma functioned. She鈥檚 a team player and because I wasn鈥檛 playing for the team, for quite some time we were strangers to one another.听Emma saw me suffering and wanted to help and comfort me. Her approach was to hold me close, protect me from my grief. It鈥檚 a natural reaction when you see someone you love in pain.听

But I was completely unpredictable and gave out a whole load of mixed messages. Sometimes I was withdrawn, other times angry. It鈥檚 normal when you鈥檙e experiencing grief but that doesn鈥檛 make it easy for your loved ones.听In moments where we don鈥檛 seem to be on the same page, we鈥檝e found that we need something that brings us together. That鈥檚 one of the reasons I鈥檓 thankful for our faith in God.听听That tends to be what centres us when we鈥檙e at odds.听I鈥檓 sure you can tell by now that I鈥檓 no relationships expert, but if I was, that would be my advice. I think that whenever we don鈥檛 see eye to eye with the people we love, let鈥檚 try and look for something that centres us and brings us back together.听听