大象传媒

A fountain pen might seem a strange gift for my 96 year old father John, as he鈥檚 cutting edge on his computer, his texting is tolerable, and his handwriting is, and always was, appalling. 聽My sister and brother and I had, nonetheless, carefully considered the colour, nib and type of pen as this was a barmitzvah gift, typically given to a 13-year-old on coming of age. In Judaism 70 is adult, so 70 plus 13 plus another 13 is a third barmitzvah, open to the few people who reach 96 and are up for the challenge.聽

For my dad鈥檚 third barmitzvah, celebrated on Zoom, we needed to get the gift just right聽

John Marks鈥� first barmitzvah was held in 1938. 聽His family was there beady-eyed to ensure that their terrified older son, dressed in his new 50 shilling suit, was word perfect chanting in ancient Hebrew.聽聽His grandma Binya and grandpa Julius Goldbaum, immigrants who had fled persecution in 1880s Poland, must have been overwhelmed by the magnificence of London鈥檚 Dukes Place synagogue.

In the faded party photo we still have, the guests looked elegant in their finery. Unlike the discos, magicians and hilarious (often unintentionally) children鈥檚 speeches of today, this was an adult only affair, set in the well disguised room above their Tottenham pub.聽

Whilst the trappings of a barmitzvah may be different now, much has stayed the same 鈥� the gift of a book from the synagogue, small donations of cash for the future or for charity, the mammoth meal, the dread of letting the Rabbi down, the family鈥檚 pride, and the torah reading itself, that week, Nasso.聽

Nasso contains the priestly blessing, echoing as loud now, as it must have done in the ominous climate of pre-war, 1938 London.聽

May God bless you and guard you.
May God鈥檚 face shine upon you and grant grace to you.
May God lift up God鈥檚 face to you and give you peace

We didn鈥檛 get much peace at the third barmitzvah party. 聽My brother, sister and I celebrated with our parents in hearty, if unconventional style with a Chinese takeaway, a cream cake smothered with liquorice Allsorts and gifts, guffaws and gastronomy. And as for the fountain pen 鈥� well the thank-you note came by text and the photos arrived by email - and that will do for me, just fine.