大象传媒

People tend to think I鈥檓 a bit extra and someone who bubbles like shaken pop when I鈥檓 super happy. But I have to be honest with you, I鈥檝e recently been randomly bursting into tears, and I鈥檓 currently blaming it on an emotive Korean costume drama about royal intrigue and love triangles, that鈥檚 triggered a torrent of hormones making me regress into an unhinged teenager.听While I may have become a little too invested in the characters鈥� stories, I have been trying to pinpoint the real cause of my sporadic weeping episodes. I notice I鈥檝e been carrying a weight around with me, like an invisible bagful of stones, each one an external worry I鈥檝e added to the pack. I take on the struggles of friends going through loneliness and loss. I see some unable to move forward because unresolved trauma keeps dragging them back.

I鈥檝e tried hard to give support while sharing their heaviness, but I know that if I want to be there for others, I need to be there for myself too.听These days, I鈥檓 figuring out what that means. Perhaps it means processing my own anxiety instead of seeking distractions to band aid fears about an uncertain future. Or maybe it means I need to make space in the soil of my soul to allow new growth.听I鈥檝e realised that if there is anyone who holds me back, it is me. I wonder just how much power I can embrace when I let myself breathe. Like Prophet Jonah, or Yunus as he鈥檚 named in the Quran, was released from the belly of the whale only after he allowed sincere faith and love to enter his heart amid the dark.听听

The American Muslim speaker and author, Yasmin Mogahed, said, 鈥淭here are internal chains and external chains. All the external chains in the world won't enslave you, if you are free inside. And all the external 'freedom' in the world won't liberate you, if you are chained inside. Let go. And you'll know Freedom.鈥澨齋o I鈥檒l try to let go of all the fears and worries I鈥檝e accumulated, be more invested in finding that freedom, and maybe be a little less invested in Korean period drama.听

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