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"Is it against the law to dress like a priest?" I whispered to Julia as I did up the last of the thirty-three buttons, each of which symbolises a year of Christ's life and leaves you wishing he'd been crucified at twelve, especially if, like me, you're developing arthritis in your fingers.

In the first episode of this series, David reads from The Hem of His Garment – his comic essay about his surprise invitation to attend a gathering of international comedians at the Vatican for an audience with The Pope. But, being David, it wasn't all he got up to in Rome.

Also in this show – some extracts from David’s hilarious diary, which he’s kept for over 40 years and which reveals some of his darkest and cheekiest thoughts – including his regrets at commenting on someone else's child and his concerning interaction with german Duolingo.

David has been a contributor to ´óÏó´«Ã½ Radio 4 for nearly 30 years - bringing his trademark, sometimes caustic, wit to audiences in the UK and around the world.

Producer: Steve Doherty
A Giddy Goat production for ´óÏó´«Ã½ Radio 4