6. Recruits
Do you remember the Doctor? Ten-part drama starring Charlie Craggs, with Jodie Whittaker.
Welcome to UNIT: the Unified Intelligence Taskforce, home to the largest collection of alien artefacts in the British Isles. Under the competent leadership of Chief Scientific Officer Dr Petronella Osgood, UNIT is prepared for any and all eventualities 鈥 including this so-called 鈥榖lue box鈥, and the mysterious 鈥楧octor鈥 behind it.
Credits:
Cleo Proctor - Charlie Craggs
Abby McPhail - Lois Chimimba
Shawna Thompson - Holly Quin-Ankrah
The Doctor - Jodie Whittaker
Petronella Osgood - Ingrid Oliver
Dr Anthony Sinclair - Karim Kronfli
Joel - Ken Cheng
Written by Ken Cheng
Additional Writing by Ella Watts
Produced and Directed by Ella Watts
Executive Producer: James Robinson
Sound Engineer: Paul Clark
Studio Assistant: Jacob Tombling
Sound Design: David Thomas
Additional Sound Design: Arlie Adlington
Original Composition: David Devereux
Production Co-ordinators: Sarah Sharpe and Sarah Nicholls
Script Editor: Tasha Dhanraj
Recorded at Sonica Studios, Clapham.
A 大象传媒 Studios Production for 大象传媒 Sounds.
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6. RECRUITS
DOCTOR WHO: REDACTED
Episode 6
听
By Ken Cheng
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大象传媒 SOUNDS STING
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Loud, ceremonial brass music plays.
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CREDITS
Doctor Who: Redacted. Episode 6.
By Ken Cheng.
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SCENE 1 UNIT HQ - MEETING ROOM
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ABBY, SHAWNA and CLEO are in a UNIT Headquarters meeting room, watching a video on the projector.
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FX: The ceremonial music continues while an old 70s-style informational video plays, followed by sounds of small pieces of metal scratching against each other.
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DR. ANTHONY SINCLAIR
Oh. Hello there. You've just caught
me playing with some magnets.
We all know of course that a North
magnet will attract a South magnet
like so.
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FX: Click of a magnet.
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DR. ANTHONY SINCLAIR (CONT鈥橠)
We also know that a North
magnet will repel a North magnet,
as you can see here. But what about
if you put a North magnet next
to...a West magnet?
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FX: Sound of a big crash with high-pitched screeching, followed by the collapse of several filing cabinets
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DR. ANTHONY SINCLAIR
That's what we do here at UNIT, we
investigate the uninvestigated. In
fact, I like to say you can't spell
uninvestigated without the word
UNIT.
Beat.
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DR. ANTHONY SINCLAIR
I'm Dr. Anthony Sinclair, head
science communicator at UNIT.
Phenomena like the West Magnet crop
up in all sorts of odd places, but
sometimes it isn't just a magnet.
(His voice begins to fade into the background)
It can also be a plant that prefers
darkness, or plastic which moves on
its own-
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We continue to hear Dr. Sinclair in the background on the projector.
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SHAWNA
What even is this video? It's like
a hundred years old.
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CLEO
You mean like from Medieval times?
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SHAWNA
No, not actually-
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ABBY
Sshh I'm trying to listen!
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DR. ANTHONY SINCLAIR
So if you're the type of person who
likes the idea of serving Queen and
Country-
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SHAWNA
Also if you enjoy cosplaying as the
Gestapo and locking up three
innocent women.
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ABBY
Shawna!
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DR. ANTHONY SINCLAIR
UNIT has also met several unidentified
life-forms. That鈥檚 right boys. Ever
since the space race, our borders have become interstellar. Some life forms are hostile, some are friendly and
some...we're not sure. For example,
meet:
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FX: Loud and overpowering distorted noises, including one that sound recognisably like the TARDIS.
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All three scream in confusion and to make it stop.
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CLEO
(covering ears)
Oh my god what is that?!
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DR. ANTHONY SINCLAIR
And what an honour it was to meet
him. Of course, just like the work of
those heroes at Bletchley Park, this intelligence is the kind of thing that
might win us a war. Which is why, despite the modest place scientists like myself
have in this organisation, I like to think that our role is absolutely crucial -
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DR. ANTHONY SINCLAIR
So why should you join UNIT? Well,
if you have a burgeoning passion for
the unexplainable or a penchant for
shootingweaponry at the unexplainable,
this may well be the place for you. And
of course, you could even get to meet...
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FX: Same loud and overpowering distorted noises.
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All three cover their ears and shout with exasperation.
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DR. ANTHONY SINCLAIR
Let me tell you boys: UNIT is the future.
Investigate the uninvestigated.
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Video ends with a ceremonial fanfare.
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SHAWNA
Well that was...informative.
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CLEO
Wait, that was for children?
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SHAWNA
Not just children, Cleo: boys. You
know that right? Girls like us
could never (mimics Dr.Sinclair)
"investigate the uninvestigated".
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ABBY
What do you think that weird noise
was?
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SHAWNA
It's probably just the video being
so old.
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CLEO
I heard it's from Medieval times.
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ABBY
No it wasn't just a random
distortion, it kept happening at
the same point, just when they were
about to show us something...
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CLEO
We鈥檝e heard it before. It has to have something to do with the Doctor.
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ABBY & SHAWNA
Who?
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CLEO
Ok seriously, I love you girls, but you
have got to stop doing that every time I mention the Doctor.
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ABBY
Whoever or whatever is behind all this,
I bet UNIT can help us figure it out.
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SHAWNA
Oh god I can't believe you talked me into
skipping around hand in hand with the Army.
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ABBY
Look, I don't like it any more than
you do.
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颁尝贰翱鈥
You鈥檙e acting like a military beg friend.
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SHAWNA
All I'm saying is I'm not ready to jump
into bed with a bunch of murderous
sociopaths just because they're now
bringing us sandwiches.
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CLEO
Yeah and my ham bloomer was very dry.
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SHAWNA
Listen, it's clear we know way more
about the blue box than they do.
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CLEO
And the doctor!
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SHAWNA
And Cleo鈥檚 doctor. So just remember that
whatever happens, we hold the cards. They
need us more than we need them.
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OSGOOD
That's right, we do.
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SCENE 2.
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FX: Sound of chairs sharply moving as the three are surprised.
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OSGOOD
Sorry about the sandwich. New caterers.
I鈥檓 Dr Petronella Osgood, Chief Scientific
Officer at UNIT.
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CLEO
But wait, where鈥檚 the other one?
Where鈥檚 Kate Stewart?
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OSGOOD
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Who?
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CLEO
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Oh god never mind.
ABBY
What are we supposed to be doing
here? That video wasn't helpful at
all.
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OSGOOD
Well yes. That recruitment
video is just one of many things
that don't quite make sense around
here.
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SHAWNA
You mean like the complete
disregard of our human rights?
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OSGOOD
I鈥檓 really, really sorry about that.
And just so you know: the member of
staff who threatened you with violence
no longer works here.
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颁尝贰翱鈥
Is that because you fired him or because
he鈥檚 disappeared?
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OSGOOD
I promise it鈥檚 not how we do things.
Everyone鈥檚 been acting scared lately and
it鈥檚 making people鈥npredictable.
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SHAWNA
(deeply sarcastic)
Oh well, good to know you have a handle
on it then.
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OSGOOD
We have hundreds of files in our database
similar to that old recruitment video, with
massive chunks being corrupted or missing.
听
SHAWNA
Maybe a cyber attack?
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OSGOOD
We thought that at first, but there鈥檚 more to it. We also have a massive collection of unidentified objects down in the basement. Absolutely no idea how they got there. No record, nothing.
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ABBY
What kind of objects?
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CLEO
Alien foetus in a jar? Come on...?
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OSGOOD
It'll be easier if I show you.
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FX: Sound of large pneumatic doors rising.
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ABBY
Woah!
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CLEO
Wow!
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SHAWNA
Errr...we're all just looking at a
warehouse right?
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Background music starts as we near the end of the scene, and the girls are keen to explore the warehouse.
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CLEO
Yeah, but cool doors.
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OSGOOD
Who wants a tour?
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Music fades into the next scene.
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SCENE.3 WAREHOUSE
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FX: They're now in a large echoey warehouse, where there are all sorts of construction noises going on. Their voices sound echoey because it鈥檚 such a big space.
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OSGOOD
So over the past few months we've had
completely unexplained objects
turning up in our vaults, from
strange gadgets to wildlife that'll
remind you of Little Shop of
Horrors.
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ABBY
Wow, it's like being in the British
Museum!
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SHAWNA
What, because everything's stolen?
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OSGOOD
We've been attempting to catalogue
everything and link it to
corresponding files in the
database. And unfortunately, everything
in there's been heavily corrupted,
with huge chunks missing.
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CLEO
Yeah sounds like my laptop
since my brother downloaded that dodgy
copy of Pirates of the Caribbean 4.
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ABBY
So how many objects do you actually have here?
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OSGOOD
862 according to the UNIT database...
though 97 are completely missing.
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ABBY
What is this? Some kind of alien
laser gun?
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OSGOOD
Actually, that's just a back
massager. That shouldn鈥檛 be down here. 鈥ㄢ
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ABBY
Oh, is it an alien back massager?
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OSGOOD
No, I got it online.
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FX: Massage gun turning on for a bit.
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SHAWNA
Oh and I suppose this must be some
sort of a hair dryer.
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OSGOOD
Don't touch tha-
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FX: A very loud laser bolt is fired sending everyone into a panic. It bounces off various crates, knocking things off shelves until it eventually dissipates.
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OSGOOD
Don't worry! No, everything's fine!
Luckily, it wasn't lethal, but if
it went near your head it would've
given you a very GI Jane buzzcut.
Anyway, this is what I wanted to
show you. Item #547. Catch.
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FX: Sound of Osgood throwing a small bottle and Cleo catching it.
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CLEO
What are these?
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OSGOOD
Look on the label.
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CLEO
No way!
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ABBY
Adipose Diet pills!
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SHAWNA
Oh my Lord...has anyone tried
taking them?
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OSGOOD
No, no of course not.
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CLEO
Because you guys at UNIT are all
body positive right ain鈥檛 ya?
听
OSGOOD
No, because they tend to dissolve you
from the inside.
CLEO
Oh.
听
ABBY
So that's why we're here? You're
hoping it's not just Adipose diet
pills that match up between our
podcast and your database.
听
OSGOOD
That's exactly right.
听
SHAWNA
How do we know we can trust you?
听
OSGOOD
Well, have we lied to you yet?
听
SHAWNA
You kidnapped us!
听
OSGOOD
Yes but we never said we weren't
going to do that.
听
Beat.
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CLEO
I mean, that does sort of make sense.
听
OSGOOD
Look, if I'm honest I鈥檓 really
looking forward to collaborating with
you. I'm really very impressed with
everything you've accomplished.
听
SHAWNA
So what now? We all hang out here,
sorting through weird artifacts and
become best buds? Maybe we find a four person slanket and we can all snuggle up together and take a little nap?
听
OSGOOD
Actually, this afternoon I'll
be directly debriefing Abby first
about her theories. I'm very interested in
hearing about them.
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ABBY
(Chuffed)
Oh...well, I guess.
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SHAWNA 鈥
Splitting us up? Clever. That鈥檚 never
Worked out badly for the little guy.
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OSGOOD
We'll just be in the office at the
end there.
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CLEO
Oh wow, interior glass. No privacy
here?
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SHAWNA
What about us?
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CLEO
That slanket nap you suggested sounds dreamy.
(YAWNING)
Turns out being kidnapped really takes it
out of you.
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OSGOOD
Shawna and Cleo, you'll be down
here in the warehouse helping sift
through our collection with Joel.
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CLEO
Who's Joel?
听
OSGOOD
Our head Archivist...
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JOEL
(deadpan)
Hi.
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CLEO
(startled)
Oh god! You really have zero presence
in the room don't you?
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JOEL
That鈥檚 correct.
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CLEO
Yeah, own it, Joel. Love it.
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OSGOOD
Er this way Abby.
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ABBY
Yeah, one second.
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Osgood walks off.
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ABBY
Are you guys going to be okay?
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SHAWNA
Obviously. Just, be careful. I 诲辞苍鈥檛
Trust her. Or any of them.
听
CLEO
Don鈥檛 listen to her. She just needs a go
with the back massager.
听
ABBY
OK, I鈥檒l see yas in a bit.
听
FX: Abby leaves.
听
颁尝贰翱鈥
You鈥檙e being so paranoid!
听
Thoughtful music appears in the background.
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SHAWNA
It鈥檚 not paranoia to think a top secret
government agency is out to get you. (BEAT)
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CLEO
It sort of is.
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SHAWNA
We literally just got kidnapped by a
secret government agency!
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CLEO
Abs鈥檒l be fine, Shawna.
And if I notice her and
Osgood making out I鈥檒l distract you with
that hairdryer thing, 诲辞苍鈥檛 worry.
听
SHAWNA sighs.
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Music fades into next scene.
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听
听
SCENE. 4 OSGOOD'S OFFICE
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FX: ABBY enters OSGOOOD'S office. Chairs shuffling.
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OSGOOD
There you go. Please sit down.
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ABBY
Thank you.
听
Chairs shuffling
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OSGOOD
I feel like I
should clear the air a bit first.
Or try to. I know we didn't get off
to the best start.
听
ABBY
Yeah I can't say I've had an
induction day quite like this.
Usually it's name-tags and you know, icebreakers.
听
OSGOOD
Oh yeah, like two truths and a lie?
听
ABBY
It does feel a lot like that actually.
听
OSGOOD
Right. Well if it helps I've
been looking forward to this.
听
ABBY
So鈥 You listened to our podcast?
听
OSGOOD
Yes, of course. For the job.
Doesn't mean I wasn't allowed to
enjoy it.
听
ABBY
Wow.
听
OSGOOD
What? Oh no, was that weird?
听
ABBY
No, just we've never actually had
positive feedback from a listener.
Well there was one guy, but he mostly
Said creepy things about my Scottish
accent.
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OSGOOD
(lightly laughing)
Oh god.
听
ABBY
Yeah not great. Still, it was a
five star review at least.
听
They laugh.
听
听
SCENE 5 WAREHOUSE
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Their voices sound echoey in the big warehouse.
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CLEO
Shawna, will you stop staring at them?
We've got work to do.
听
SHAWNA
I wasn鈥檛 staring. (BEAT) What do you think
they鈥檙e laughing about?
听
CLEO
Babe, let it go.
听
SHAWNA
Right, where鈥檚 this database?
听
JOEL
You can access it on that panel there.
听
CLEO
For everything here? God it really is
Like the British Museum!
听
SHAWNA
What, because everything's stolen?
听
CLEO
You made that joke earlier.
听
SHAWNA
Yeah but no one laughed.
听
CLEO laughs.
听
JOEL
Just press this鈥
听
FX: Touchscreen pressing. Suddenly, loud distorted noises, similar to earlier.
听
SHAWNA
Argh!
听
CLEO
Ah! Can you mute the sound on
that thing?
听
The noise stops abruptly.
听
SHAWNA
Right, let鈥檚 have a look.
听
SHAWNA taps on a touchscreen, we hear beeps and computer sounds.
听
SHAWNA
Ok, I'm in.
听
CLEO
What's it say?
听
SHAWNA
It's a mission report. "The moon
rocks were retrieved from Royal
Hope Hospital in March 2008."
听
CLEO
What else?
听
SHAWNA
Well that's it.
听
JOEL
Yes, unfortunately our database has
taken quite a beating.
听
FX: More pressing noises.
听
SHAWNA
So many of these files are like
this though. Look at these. This
one's a medical report and just
says the sentence "gas exchange
causes them to fart
uncontrollably".
听
CLEO
(Chuckles)
Well that鈥檚 one for the dating profile..
听
FX: Frantic Pressing
听
SHAWNA
Okay okay. So looks like the files
marked in red are corrupted.
听
CLEO
It鈥檚 like the whole thing is broken
听
SHAWNA
862 corrupted records apparently,
and 97 completely missing.
听
CLEO
Where do we even start then?
听
SHAWNA
How about Adipose?
CLEO
Fat babies!
听
FX: Clicking and beeping sounds.
听
SHAWNA
I鈥檓 not sure you can even call this
a database any more. It鈥檚 a digital wasteland.
听
FX: More clicking sounds.
听
SHAWNA
(reading)
Here鈥檚 something: "A UNIT task force was
sent to Adipose Headquarters for clean-up."
Is that it? Looks like everything else was deleted.
听
CLEO
(Quiet)
I bet it was the Doctor. All this missing stuff is the Doctor.
听
FX: More beeping sounds.
听
SHAWNA
This one's just two words.
听
CLEO
What are they?
听
SHAWNA
"Bad Wolf".
听
CLEO
Bad Wolf...? Sounds like an emo band.
听
FX: More of Shawna going through the database, getting increasingly irritating error sounds, faster and faster until 鈥
听
SHAWNA
Come on鈥 come on鈥 stupid..
听
FX: Beeping error code
听
SHAWNA
God this is useless! Why did we agree to work for such incompetent tools?
No offence Joel.
听
JOEL
None taken.
听
CLEO
Wait, do you have anything about Jordan Proctor? Or Andy Proctor?
听
JOEL
Proctor?
听
CLEO
My brother. And my Dad. They鈥檙e both missing.
听
FX: Sound of SHAWNA going through the database
听
SHAWNA
P...P鈥 prisoners, proton beams, pastries鈥
I can鈥檛 see a Procter. Sorry Cleo.
听
CLEO
(False cheer) It鈥檚 fine! I figured there
probably wouldn鈥檛 be. What about the Doctor?
听
SHAWNA
Let鈥檚 see鈥 D-O-C-T-O-R
听
FX: An eery sound followed by a loud error noise as the database completely shuts down, followed by a pop.
听
SHAWNA
That was not my fault.
听
JOEL
Don鈥檛 worry. It鈥檚 been on the blink for
weeks.
听
SHAWNA
Cleo, you ok?
听
CLEO
Yeah, no I鈥檓 fine. It鈥檚 fine. Tell you
what. Joel: what鈥檚 the most exciting
thing you got here? For like, a normal
person. Not you. Oh no offence. Like the kind of thing you could sell for billions
or whatever. Not that I would. Just to repeat: I鈥檓 not trying to steal the government鈥檚 stuff.
听
JOEL
Follow me.鈥
听
听
SCENE. 6听 OSGOOD'S OFFICE
听
FX: OSGOOD shuffles her chair.
听
OSGOOD
So鈥 when did you first become interested
in the paranormal?
听
ABBY
Wait, are you interviewing me? Like for
real 鈥済iving me a job鈥 interviewing me?
听
OSGOOD
Well, I was just gathering data but-
听
ABBY
(Disappointed)
Oh, right. Of course.
听
OSGOOD
But I can multitask?
听
ABBY
I know I鈥檓 wildly underqualified
for something like this, and there鈥檚
probably like a fitness test which I definitely wouldn鈥檛 pass and I鈥檇 need to figure out what me and Mum are gonna do -
听
OSGOOD
Abby -
听
ABBY
Yeah?
听
OSGOOD
I think you鈥檇 be a great fit for UNIT.
听
Comforting music plays as OSGOOD compliments ABBY.
听
ABBY
Seriously?
听
OSGOOD
Seriously.
听
ABBY
Wait, but, honestly is there some kind of
hybrid working situation going on? Because
I鈥檝e been away from home too long already.
My Mum needs me, and I鈥檓 not having her put
into care.
听
OSGOOD
Look. We have the UK鈥檚 largest collection
of alien artefacts. I think we can handle working from home.
听
ABBY
So that鈥檚 a yes on the hybrid working thing then? Just to be super clear.
听
OSGOOD
(WARM) Yes. That鈥檚 a yes. So! When did you first become interested in the paranormal?
听
ABBY
Ok, so, I was six years old 鈥 it was
before my Dad died, and we were all watching ET. It鈥檚 like this really old movie
about this kid who finds an alien and-
听
翱厂骋翱翱顿鈥
Sorry Abby, do you think I鈥檓 too young to know what ET is?
听
础叠叠驰鈥
Oh. Are you not? Sorry!
听
翱厂骋翱翱顿鈥
No 诲辞苍鈥檛 be! I liked it.
听
Music fades out as we transition to:
SCENE 7. WAREHOUSE
听
JOEL
Item #372. Take a look at this.
听
SHAWNA
That's...some mascara.
听
CLEO
Oh we get it Joel. Because we're
*GIRLS*, we like wearing makeup.
Very funny babe.
听
JOEL
No, it's not just mascara.
It's sonic mascara.
听
SHAWNA
...like the hedgehog?
听
JOEL
I'll demonstrate. Cleo, hand me that
cup of coffee. Stand back.
听
FX: JOEL sets the cup of coffee down onto the table and activates the sonic mascara. The coffee starts to boil heavily and then the mug explodes.
听
CLEO
Oh my god!
听
SHAWNA
Woah.
听
CLEO
What the hell?
听
SHAWNA
No fair enough, that is cool.
How does it work?
听
JOEL
You know how microwaves work by agitating water particles?
听
CLEO
Oh yeah! We exploded an egg in science
for that.
听
JOEL
Well this mascara uses sound to
hyper-agitate molecular structures
to the point of volatility.
听
SHAWNA
And in English that means鈥?
听
JOEL
It makes things blow up
听听听听
SHAWNA
Cool.
听
FX: Moments later... chirpy music begins to play as we hear CLEO鈥檚 voice in a recorded video.
听
CLEO
Okay here's a special video for our
loyal fans, so you've seen diet
coke and Mentos, get ready
for...diet coke and sonic mascara.
听
FX: Sonic mascara noise. Bottle of diet coke bubbling and exploding and going over both CLEO and SHAWNA.
听
They both laugh hysterically.
听
CLEO
Oh my god!
听
SHAWNA
It's everywhere!
听
CLEO
Did you get that?! That鈥檚 crazy
听
SHAWNA
I swear it went 50 feet into the
air.
听
JOEL
What the hell are you two doing?!
听
CLEO
Oh sorry Joel. We were just...
experimenting. Sorry.
听
JOEL
It works better with Ginger Ale.
听
CLEO
(Pleased)
Oh really...?
听
FX: Sonic mascara activating.
听
SHAWNA
Okay wait for it...wait for it...
听
FX: Bottle of ginger ale exploding and splashing over everyone, leaving them positively hysterical.
听
JOEL
(deadpan)
I'm wet and sticky and I love it.
听
Joyful drum and base style music plays as the montage continues.
听
SHAWNA
You know I still think the Diet Coke was
better.
听
CLEO
I mean there鈥檚 only one way to found
out guys, come on.
听
(BEAT)
听
CLEO
(announcer voice)
ON WHEELY CHAIR NUMBER ONE IS JOEL
RIDING FOR TEAM GINGER ALE -
听
(Joel woops in a deadpan voice)
听
CLEO
AGAINST WHEELY CHAIR NUMBER TWO, THE
CHALLENGER SHAWNA FOR TEAM COKE.
听
(Shawna woops)
听
CLEO
ALRIGHT GUYS. GET READY! GET SET! GO!
听
FX: Sonic mascara setting off both contestants, and the sounds of screaming as two wheely chairs shooting off and both crash into pile of crates, which fall down.
听
SHAWNA
Don't worry, we're fine, we're
fine!
听
CLEO
Are you OK? Oh my god!
听
JOEL
(deadpan)
That was the first time in my
entire life I've felt truly alive.
听
听
SCENE.8
听
FX: CLEO picking up something metallic.
听
CLEO
Is this like armour? How weird is that?
听
SHAWNA
Look at this weird robot one. What鈥檚
a Ravulox?
听
CLEO
That鈥檚 the transformer-thing, that
attacked Rani Chandra.
听
SHAWNA
Creepy.
听
CLEO
Yeah.
听
FX: An ALIEN RADIO starts making strange liquid noises as it scans through various channels.
听
CLEO
Can you hear that?
听
SHAWNA
Hang on, I dropped my phone. Joel,
have you seen my phone over there?
听
Shawna鈥檚 voice becomes distant as Cleo focuses in on the radio.
听
CLEO
What鈥檚 this?
听
DOCTOR
(heavily distorted by the Redacted effect)
Can you hear me? This is (STATIC)The Doctor.
I鈥檓 broadcasting on all channels. (STATIC) If ANYONE can hear me, please respond.
听
CLEO
Yeah, hello?
听
DOCTOR
Hello? Can you hear me?
听
CLEO
Yeah I can here.
听
DOCTOR
I can鈥檛 hear you, can you hear me?
听
CLEO
Yeah, I can, I can! I can hear you. God you鈥檇 think some high tech military science unit would have better signal.
听
FX: STATIC DISTORION
听
CLEO
Hang on, I鈥檓 going to get near the window.
听
DOCTOR
(heavily distorted)
Hello? (STATIC NOISE). Can you try standing near the window?
听
(Frustrated, CLEO sighs)
听
FX: The alien radio makes a positive beep.
听
DOCTOR
Hello? Can you hear me?
听
CLEO
That鈥檚 better. Yeah, hi! I鈥檓 Cleo.
Are you alright?
听
DOCTOR
Cleo! Lovely name. I met Cleopatra once.
In answer to your other question: yes
and no.
(Voice slightly distorted)
Bit of a schrodingers situation, though
no cats were harmed in this thought experiment.
听
CLEO
What? Who are you?
听
DOCTOR
Funny thing: I can鈥檛 tell you that.
听
CLEO
Like you鈥檙e a secret agent? Listen,
we already know about UNIT.
听
DOCTOR
UNIT! Wonderful. Give my love to Kate and Osgood. No, I mean if I tell you, your
head might explode.
听
CLEO
What?
听
DOCTOR
Listen, Cleo, I 诲辞苍鈥檛 have much time.
听
FX: The REDACTED sound effect starts to rise on the radio again. Piano music plays in the background as CLEO tries to hear the DOCTOR.
听
DOCTOR
(heavily distorted)
- Seriously dangerous (STATIC) Hunting down(STATIC) -听 I鈥檓 trapped(STATIC) I can鈥檛 control it (STATIC) Killing people 鈥
听
CLEO
Wait, hello? I can鈥檛 hear you
听
FX: The REDACTED sound effect is getting almost too loud to withstand
听
DOCTOR
(heavily distorted)
(STATIC) FIND (STATIC) - She can help you. Find her. Ask her about the Blue Box.(STATIC) Oh, and whatever you do, 诲辞苍鈥檛 call her a -
听
FX: The radio explodes with a pop. Cleo drops it.
听
CLEO
Find who? What?
听
SHAWNA shouts. Cleo runs to her.
听
SHAWNA
Eurrrghghh! Cleo look at this!
听
CLEO
Wait babe, I鈥檝e seen this before.
听
SHAWNA
It鈥檚 so creepy. Like it鈥檚 staring into
my soul. Eurgghhhh.
听
CLEO
Wait, what does the label say?
听
(MORE)
听
SHAWNA
鈥凄补濒别办鈥
听
Eery music begins to play and grows louder into:
听
听
SCENE.9 OSGOOD'S OFFICE
听
OSGOOD
Let me show you something.
听
FX: OSGOOD pushes a button, and some mechanical shutters open.
听
ABBY
What is that?
听
OSGOOD
It's called the Osgood Box.
听
ABBY
Why?
听
OSGOOD
I have no idea. I have no memory of
how I got it or where it comes from.
But judging by the design, it鈥檚 of alien origin.
听
ABBY
What does it do?
听
OSGOOD
We don't quite know, but our
analysis of it suggests it has the
potential听to wipe out all life on
Earth.
听
ABBY
What if this came from there?
听
OSGOOD
Where?
听
ABBY
From The Blue Box! Everything weird
always ends up being tied to that box somehow. It鈥檚 like, a nexus event. A catalyst. And you鈥檝e got this: a box
from a box! It makes sense, right?
听
OSGOOD
But I鈥檝e never seen the Blue Box.
听
ABBY
You sure?
听
OSGOOD
Why?
听
ABBY
Everyone we've met who has had
contact with the blue box has
completely disappeared.
听
OSGOOD
(Sighs)
Yeah, can't say that fact has
escaped me.
听
Music fades into the next scene.
听
听
SCENE.10听听 WAREHOUSE - MASK SECTION
听
SHAWNA
Dalek? What is that?
听
CLEO
I don't know, but I've definitely
seen it before.
听
SHAWNA
When?
听
CLEO
I鈥檓 not sure.
听
SHAWNA
颁濒别辞鈥ou鈥檙e shaking.
听
CLEO
It鈥檚 not even scary. I mean, look at it.
It鈥檚 got a toilet plunger sticking out of it.
Shawna, why am I scared of it?
听
Tense music starts.
听
SHAWNA
We can take a break if you need.
听
CLEO
No, I'm fine. It鈥檚 fine. Let鈥檚 just find
Out what the hell this thing is and why
it鈥檚 giving me goosebumps.
听
SHAWNA
Where are you going?
听
CLEO
Joel. What do you know about Daleks?
听
JOEL
(Cautious)
Why do you ask?
听
CLEO
Oh come on. You鈥檙e a human being.
From one weirdo to another. Please.
Tell me.
听
SHAWNA
Cleo 鈥
听
JOEL
I 诲辞苍鈥檛 think I can tell you.
听
CLEO
Oh please.
听
JOEL
(Grim)
There鈥檚鈥 storage room. Entrance is on the
East side of the warehouse. It'll take you
about five minutes to get there. But鈥
I鈥檓 not supposed to let you go down there.
(BEAT)
But I guess I lost track of you in all the excitement.
听
CLEO
(Earnestly)
Thanks, Joel.
听
Cleo darts off.
听
SHAWNA
Cleo, wait up!
听
We hear Shawna running after Cleo.
听
听
SCENE.11听 WAREHOUSE - EAST SIDE
听
Cleo and Shawna arrive at the basement door entrance.
听
FX: Cleo tries the door handle and its locked.
听
CLEO
ARGHHH! It鈥檚 locked.
听
Cleo presses her head against the locked door and breathes heavily.
听
SHAWNA
Cleo...
听
CLEO
This is so messed up! Why is this
Happening to me? I didn鈥檛 ask for any
of this. And neither did my Dad, and
neither did my brother. We鈥檙e just
normal people!
听
SHAWNA
I know, I know. But that鈥檚 the point. Whilst these idiots in fancy pyjamas are running around pretending to be heroes, no one stops to worry about what happens to people like you and me in the background. No one cares what happens to Extra number 6. It鈥檚 not fair. I know. But Cleo 鈥 look at me. This is why we do that stupid podcast. It鈥檚 so that someone cares. It鈥檚 so that someone bothers to find out what actually happened to people
like your Dad. And I鈥檓 not leaving until we do. Ok?
听
CLEO
Ok. Thanks, Shawna.
(BEAT)
There must be some way through this door...
听
SHAWNA
(Barely contained glee)
I鈥檝e still have the sonic mascara. Stand back.
听
FX: Sonic mascara sound activating.
听
CLEO
Shawna!
听
SHAWNA
VIVE LA REVOLUTION!
听
FX: Mascara intensifies, blowing open the lock of the door and causing it to swing wide open.
听
CLEO
Oh my god! Shawna! Oh my god.
What is this place? It鈥檚 full of鈥
people's clothes.
听
SHAWNA
It looks like the lost property at
a swimming pool. Woolly jumpers,
winter coats.
听
CLEO
I 诲辞苍鈥檛 like it.
听
SHAWNA
It鈥檚 definitely a 13 on the Spook-o-meter.
Look, the boxes are labelled 鈥 Clive Finch,
Priya Chakrabati, Olga Mettel鈥 Oh no
听
CLEO
This room, it's for the victims isn't it? Everyone who died after seeing that Blue Box. After meeting the Doctor.
听
Sad, soft piano music plays in the background.
听
Shawna walks off and starts rifling through boxes, looking for evidence. Then she stops.
听
SHAWNA
It鈥檚 all itemised, look. These boxes are in
alphabetical order.
听
CLEO
Start looking.
听
SHAWNA
Cleo, are you sure about this?
听
CLEO
Just start looking.
听
TIME PASSES AS THEY SEARCH.
听
SHAWNA
颁濒别辞鈥
听
Cleo turns to Shawna.
听
CLEO
What is it?
听
SHAWNA
This box has your Dad鈥檚 name on it.
听
CLEO
(Swallows)
Give it to me. (She opens it)
Oh my god. That鈥檚 his wedding ring. And these are his gloves.
(She sniffs them)
They still smell like him. How鈥檚 that possible? It鈥檚 been nearly 20 years since I鈥檝e seen him and if I shut my eyes it鈥檚 like 鈥
听
SHAWNA
I鈥檓 so sorry
听
They share a big hug, as Cleo starts to cry. Eventually she collects herself.
听
CLEO
We need to go.
(Getting angry)
They knew about this. They knew about
this the whole time. They鈥檝e been lying
to us.
听
The piano music gets louder then suddenly stops.
听
听
SCENE.12听 OSGOOD'S OFFICE
听
FX: Glass door opening abruptly. ABBY and OSGOOD are startled in their chairs as SHAWNA and CLEO rush in.
听
ABBY
What's going on?
听
SHAWNA
UNIT knew.
听
ABBY
Knew what?
听
CLEO
Abby hey knew what happened to my
Dad.听You utter sickos. You knew
that my Dad was dead and you
didn't tell me.
听
ABBY
Oh my god, Cleo-
听
SHAWNA
Did you know about Cleo鈥檚 family?
听
OSGOOD
I didn't.
听
CLEO
You did, didn't you?
听
OSGOOD
I didn't! No, I swear I didn't!
听
CLEO
Of course you did!
听
ABBY
She said she didn't know, Cleo.
听
SHAWNA
Will you *STOP* defending her?!
You鈥檝e only just met her!
听
OSGOOD
Listen everybody, why don't we all
just take a breather?
听
SHAWNA
No. Enough is enough. I've
been kidnapped, interrogated,
and coerced by EXACTLY the kind of people
I hate. And then I find out I was right!
听
CLEO
We鈥檙e just meaningless to you, aren鈥檛 we?
My Dad, my brother, me. We鈥檙e just the
afterthought in your stupid little games.
I 诲辞苍鈥檛 care about aliens, and I 诲辞苍鈥檛 care
about the Doctor, I 诲辞苍鈥檛 care about any of this.
听
ABBY
Oh Cleo -
CLEO
No! Just give me back my brother!
听
ABBY
Cleo, I know this is a horrible
situation for you.
听
颁尝贰翱鈥
You 诲辞苍鈥檛 have any idea what this is like.
听
SHAWNA
Right, let鈥檚 go. Now.
(BEAT)
Abby?
听
ABBY
I'm sorry.
听
Heavy, piano chords play as SHAWNA realises ABBY isn鈥檛 moving.
听
SHAWNA
Oh no. Oh no no no no no. You want to
stay? After all this?
听
ABBY
I need to be here. We could actually
make a difference. We could save people.
听
SHAWNA
Did you hear anything we just said Abby?
They murdered Cleo鈥檚 Dad and then covered
it up.
听
ABBY
We 诲辞苍鈥檛 know that. This is bigger than us, Shawna! This is bigger than all of us.
听
SHAWNA
We're talking about family here. What鈥檚 bigger than family?
听
ABBY
I'm sorry.
听
SHAWNA
I鈥檓 done.
听
FX: SHAWNA LEAVING
听
ABBY
Cleo?
听
CLEO
I hope what you're doing is worth it.
听
ABBY
Please stay!
听
FX: The door closes behind CLEO.
听
END OF EPISODE
听
听
Heavy piano music continues accompanied by gentle, electronic beats.
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 CREDITS听听听听听听听听听 Doctor Who Redacted: Episode Six,by Ken Cheng.听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Starring: Charlie Craggs, Lois Chimimba, Holly 听听听听听听听听听听听听 Quin-Ankrah, Jodie Whittaker, Ingrid Oliver, 听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Karim Kronfli and Ken Cheng.听听听听听听听听听听 Directed and produced by Ella Watts.Sound design by David Thomas and Arlie Adlington. Original composition by David Devereux.A 大象传媒 Studios production.听The piano music gently ends.
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听
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Podcast
-
Doctor Who: Redacted
The return of the audio drama series, set in the worlds of Doctor Who.