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It's been back to school in various sparts of the UK and this week, schools start in England – even with a weekend of warm sunny weather, the start of the school term means a new season as summer slowly melts into Autumn. But every year this time reminds me of my own school years and when I think back, I think mostly of my friends.

Returning to school is exciting but it can also be stressful for children. And sometimes this anxiety has very little to do with studies or exams but is more about the social aspect of school, whether a child has good friends and is happy. In all the focus on raising education standards, I think we overlook how important emotional wellbeing is to academic attainment.

From school to adult life, I’ve realised how complex but important friendships are in making you feel you belong and you’re valued. I’m lucky to live in a liberal society where friendship between people of different backgrounds and cultures is rightly encouraged. The Qur’an speaks of making alliances with other believers but while social alliances may have been important for a fledgling Muslim community, I feel my own faith in God has been strengthened by some of the soul searching I’ve done over friends, friends who’ve unsettled me, challenged my faith and opened new ways of thinking about life. The writer Anais Nin wrote:

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

I regret not keeping in touch with so many of my school and university friends and because of this, I’d tell my own children when they were growing up – cherish your close friends, spend time on them and with them. Be open to new possibilities but don’t think you’ll go through life making really good new friends – like with everything else in life, time runs out.

Pluralist societies like ours rely on reaching across divides because friendships have a powerful civic worth. When it comes to school, we know how important friendships are in helping young people develop emotionally and morally. I think of the Islamic concept of our children not just as a blessing and a joy but a trust from God. To honour that trust, let's focus more on children’s happiness as well as their learning, that children like adults flourish more when they cooperate rather than when they compete.

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