大象传媒

Good morning. The formal convention for greeting someone used to be, 鈥淗ow do you do?鈥� The appropriate reply being, 鈥淗ow do you do?鈥� Don鈥檛 actually explain how you鈥檙e doing, in other words, and don鈥檛 expect anyone to tell you how they鈥檙e doing, either. While this convention has more recently edged towards, 鈥淗ow are you?鈥�, 鈥淗ow are things?鈥�, or even 鈥淲hat鈥檚 up?鈥�, the etiquette remains substantially the same. By all means respond with a perfunctory, 鈥淚鈥檓 fine, thanks鈥�, 鈥淣ot too bad鈥�, or 鈥淐ould be worse鈥�; just don鈥檛 make the mistake of thinking anyone really wants to have the full low-down on your life.

There鈥檚 a wonderful short story called The Open Window, written by Saki in 1914, in which a young man violates this principle. Framton Nuttel, we are told, was one of those people 鈥渨ho laboured under the tolerably widespread delusion that total strangers and chance acquaintances are hungry for the least detail of one鈥檚 ailments and infirmities.鈥� The story takes the form of an elaborate joke at Nuttel鈥檚 expense, and we laugh along. But there is also, I think, a serious moral buried within it, about how we orientate ourselves in the world.

On the one hand, our social-media-saturated culture encourages us to curate a dishonest version of ourselves as endlessly happy and successful, even glamorous. On the other hand, most news reporting is dominated by negative narratives that can have the effect of exaggerating our sense of how awful everything is. There鈥檚 not much to be done about social media, perhaps, other than to ration it and recognize it for what it is. But I was delighted to hear of an organization called Positive News that has recently teamed up with an advertising company to share uplifting stories on billboards and digital platforms throughout the UK. Rather than focus on crises, conflicts, and cruelty, Positive News harvests stories from around the world that highlight human resilience, innovation, and kindness. That seems to me a good thing.

Cultivating gratitude boosts mental health, studies show; but as the medieval friar Meister Eckhart once observed, being grateful may also be a form of prayer. In Eckhart鈥檚 view, 鈥淚f the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.鈥� Enough for God, that is, but perhaps for each of us too. And here鈥檚 the kicker. A grateful outlook affects others as well. While total strangers and chance acquaintances are indeed unlikely to be hungry for all the details of our lives 鈥� good or bad 鈥� choosing to focus on what in your life you鈥檙e thankful for can be compelling. Being grateful for what you have may help others to recognise their own blessings too.

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