Fallout
by Anglo-Norman
Following
Brookfield's unfortunate TB results, regular contributor Anglo-Norman
posted this fantasy (at least we hope it's a fantasy!) to The Archers
message board.
Alistair
put his hand on David's shoulder.
"I'm
sorry, but..." David deflated.
"Not
another reactor!" he cried. Alistair nodded slowly.
David
thumped the wall in disgust.
"That's
the tenth in a row! I tell you, Alistair, I've had it up to here with
these blasted nuclear cows!"
Alistair
nodded silently as he stripped off his protective suit and checked himself
over with a Geiger counter whilst David continued to rant.
"It
was bad enough with the gas fired livestock, people worrying that their
roast dinner would explode or suffocate them in the night. Dad always
said 'stick to fossil fuels' but no, I had to try out that one nuclear
powered heifer and now I've got reactors popping up everywhere."
"I
know, I know" said Alistair consolingly, hoping it would stem the
flow, but the farmer continued.
"And
now we'll have people cancelling their orders of beef. I keep saying that
meat from nuclear animals is safe and much cleaner that beef from coal
or oil fired cattle but it doesn't make any difference! And then there's
all that business of having to bury the manure in lead boxes. And if Lynda
finds out she'll be up here with her placards and her 'environmentally
friendly' clockwork llamas. Honestly!"
As
he ranted a bowl of porridge sailed out of the farmhouse door. There followed
a stream of curses followed by:
"Get
out off here, stupid voman, ant don't come back until you haf aqvired
some chocolate-coated rice cereal. How am I to compose my masterpiece
vilst you expect me to eat zis chickenfeed?"
Ruth
came hurrying out, red-faced. She strode up to her husband.
"Diavid,
we really have to have a serious talk about the effect Pip's music lessons
are having on her..." she began.
"Oh,
for heaven's sake" snarled David, and lashed out with his foot at
a cow...
* * *
At
Home Farm, Alice Aldridge was looking out of the window.
"Look
at that funny cloud over Brookfield" she said.
"Oh
yes", said Jenny. "How odd. It looks just like a mushroom."
