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Parodies |
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Anniversary Tribute
by Lady Macbeth
Following last week's anniversary, Lady Macbeth from drew on Shakespeare's Scottish play for this fantasy:
22 September 1955
Enter three witches and Casserole
Chriswitch
When shall we three meet again
At the end of Brookfield Lane?
Jillwitch
When the fire brigade's long gone
And fifty years of hist'ry done
Peggywitch
And all of us have had our fun. (Cackles)
22 September 2005
Enter Witch Hazel (aka The Third Murderer):
Witch Hazel
Old thou art, and puzzled and I'll have
What I intended; yet I do fear thy fam'ly
Will frustrate my foul design with fair words
Lest I should cozen them. Let it be thus:
With honey'd word and tongue your wife I'll woo,
And shall enlist the Queen of Casserole
To further my ambition. Who comes here?
Enter: Jillwitch, Peggywitch and Casserole (Witch Hazel withdraws behind the arras)
Peggywitch
Just put the Casserole down here, dear. I know it's not as good as the Brookfield Aga, but we must make the best of things.
Jillwitch
It will take a lot longer, you know. But that Aga has never worked properly since Ruth let it go out.
Peggywitch
There's no point in dwelling on what can't be mended.
Jillwitch
True (sighs patiently) Let's get started, then.
Together
Now that we two've met again
Near the end of Brookfield Lane
All our plans are nearly done
Fifty years their race have run.
Grace is buried and Jill wed;
Peggy rich and one Jack dead:
Jack the second on his way -
(Leaving Peggy to make hay)
Phil to follow him ere long.
Now there's only one thing wrong
A third witch to complete our song.
Witch Hazel emerges from behind the arras
Witch Hazel
I think I can help you there, ladies.
Peggywitch
And about time, too, Hazel. I was getting really bored with that act of yours.
Witch Hazel
My pleasure, ladies. Shall we begin?
More parodies - from Agatha Christie to Damon Runyon
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