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GCSE Archers
by Lady Macbeth
 The exam marking season has inspired some GCSE questions and answers in the Fantasy Archers topic of . Here's just one:
Discuss the importance of the casserole in The Archers. You should refer to specific characters, events and language in your answer.
The casserole is symbolic of civilisation in The Archers. It was first discovered by Piggy Archer, who was the only person who knew what it was for and, for a long time, kept that knowledge to herself:
"What is it, Piggy?" asked Ralph.
"Not tellin’," Piggy responded, carefully polishing her glasses.
It was only after Piggy Archer's death (a mystery which was never solved but involved a "fall" from the bell tower of St Stephen's) that the true purpose of the casserole was discovered - that of Peace Maker, and with much in common with the weapon with which it shares its name.
Ambridge is home to only one casserole, which is held by the village's unofficial Chief. She uses it to wield absolute power over the villagers and this invariably works as it makes them feel totally inadequate during moments of extreme stress.
On one particularly difficult occasion, David and his Hungarian asylum-seeking wife had moved into their ancestral home, having ousted the rightful residents with honeyed words such as "retirement", "getting too much for you", "smaller house", but ignored the Home of the Casserole - the Aga. It was allowed to drift into obscurity and, like the original owners, was in danger not only of becoming redundant but in addition being replaced by an upstart microwave. Enter The Queen of the Casserole.
"Oooh, Roof" purred the Queen, tactfully assuming her daughter-in-law's native accent "divvent ye na worran Aga's fower?"
"Is it not fer the koyl?" replied Roof. "Ah thowt it wiz instead of the bath."
"Haway, ye booga," said the Queen "get this doon yer neck" and she handed over The Casserole - then screamed and, reverting to her usual accent in panic "use a placemat girl! You'll burn the table!"
Tentatively Roof dipped a spoon into the mixture - she was still learning about knives and forks, a skill which she still has to perfect - and tasted. Minutes passed without a word then, silently she left the table, walked toward the Aga and, by The Magic of the Casserole, lit it. Equally silently she went to the larder in which she found, to her amazement, a selection of fresh vegetables and a nice piece of Hereford braising steak, and began to chop.
But - the Queen had vanished, taking The Casserole with her. However, the transformation had begun and the resulting stew was almost edible.
This is only one example of the Power of the Casserole - there are many others and I can only advise you to investigate The Casseroles, sorry The Archers for yourself.
More parodies - from Agatha Christie to Damon Runyon
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