大象传媒

Little Brother Part 2
by Chris Hanson

If you've seen The Truman Show, you'll recognise some of the ideas on which Chris Hanson draws in this clever parody, which she originally contributed to the Fantasy Archers topic of The Archers . But even if you haven't seen the film, there's much to enjoy in this dark tale of fantasy and reality.

Read the story from the beginning

The following week, Chris decided to go into The Bull and use the computers there. His school friends always seemed very reluctant to let him use theirs, even though he knew they sometimes went to each others' houses and surfed together. Jolene looked surprised to see him when he said he wanted to buy some surf time. She glanced anxiously at her only other customer, Joe Grundy.

"Well, Chris Carter," said Joe, "So you want to 'ave a look at the internet do you?" Joe laughed, he seemed to find the idea highly amusing.
Chris was offended. "I do know how," he said, "We do it at school, you know."
Joe chuckled even more, "Ooh yes, of course you do. Of course you do. Well, you go ahead, and let's see what you find."
"Er - do you need any help?" asked Jolene. Now, why was she looking at the mirror behind the bar and not at him when she said this?
"No," replied Chris shortly, and sat down to use the computer. He did not see Jolene staring into the mirror, while urgently stabbing a pointing finger in Chris's direction.

Chris swiftly went into his favourite search engine, and did what everyone tries at least once: input his own name. He waited as the screen began to refresh itself. A list of results came up. He was just about to start reading the list, when the screen suddenly went blank. Chris glanced across at Joe, and saw that he too had a black screen.
Jolene came over to them. "Ooh I'm so sorry you two. There's something wrong with the power supply. Chris, you can have your money back. Joe, your time was nearly up anyway. You can have 5 minutes extra next time you come."
Chris looked around the bar in disbelief. All the lights were on, Sid was vacuuming in the other bar. Only the computers had gone off. He was very suspicious, but he could hardly accuse Jolene of lying.

As he walked across the pub car park, he mused over what he had seen before his computer had ceased to work. In that swift instant, he had seen that the first result of his googling had produced a site with the banner The Brother Christophe Show.

Chris walked through Ambridge, on his way to the village shop. As usual he was listening to his personal stereo. He had just bought a new CD of his favourite band, and was shaking his head in time to the music. Suddenly, the CD made a very strange noise, quite painful to the ears, and the music skipped from one track to an entirely different song. When Chris tried stopping and starting the machine, every time it reached the same point of the song, the same thing happened. Chris put the CD into his pocket in disgust, and switched the stereo over to radio. He didn't usually listen to this, but it was better than nothing.
After a while, he realised that there was a conversation going on in the background behind the music. He did not pay much attention till he heard his own name. He then listened more carefully, and the conversation seemed to be about him. Somebody was telling someone else where Chris was going. To test this theory, Chris started to walk in the opposite direction, and sure enough, he heard a voice saying, "He's turned round. Now he's walking on the village green. Now he's walking round the pond. I can't imagine what he's up to. Now he's going round the pond again. It's very odd. You'd better stay in the shop in case he still goes there."

Chris sat on the bench on the village green and listened to the anxious voice. The man seemed to be telling other people where to go too. If Chris understood correctly, Jill and Pip Archer were coming towards the green. He decided it would be fun to surprise them, so he listened until he was fairly sure where they were. He then stood up rapidly, and marched towards where they were meant to be. He was rewarded by seeing a surprised and embarrassed look on Jill Archer's face. Was that someone running off between the houses? Why did Jill's face look so odd? Then he realised she had a lipstick smear beside her mouth, and her hair suddenly looked like a wig, as he saw more hair of a different colour peeping from under it.

Pip did not seem to be fazed, though. She gave him a big conspiratorial smile as Chris removed his headphones. "Hello Chris," she said, "We thought you were on the bench. The make聟"
Jill suddenly interrupted, "What Pip means is, we thought we'd come down to the pond. We said, it's such a nice day, we wondered if anyone would be sitting on the bench." She then gave her usual uncertain giggle, that everyone always found really irritating. Chris looked at her in disbelief, and, deciding to stick to his usual role of silent teenager, grunted at Jill in disgust, and restarted his trip to the shop, putting on his headphones again to the sound of voices instructing Betty that he was on his way.

***

Chris decided to go to Birmingham. He had never been before, and that was one reason. Even boring people need a change of scenery sometimes. Also, he had been thinking about all the odd things that seemed to be happening lately, especially what Sonja had said to him: "Have you ever actually been out of Bor..?" Now Bor could be Borchester or Borsetshire, and no he hadn't ever been out of Borsetshire, so he was going to Birmingham because it wasn't in Borsetshire. He would go on the train. He knew it was possible to get a train from Hollerton Junction to Felpersham, and from there to Birmingham, but first he had to get to Hollerton Junction. Chris had a think about this. He did not want to tell anyone in Ambridge. He had the uneasy feeling that somebody would try to stop him.

On the appointed day, Chris took out his bicycle, and nonchalantly pedalled off. The sight of Chris Carter cycling was not unusual, so the few people he passed either ignored him, or greeted him as normal. When Chris arrived at Hollerton Junction, he sat down to wait for a train. He had managed to find out the train times, so he did not have long to wait. He boarded the train and found a corner seat.

The train set off. Chris tried listening on his radio, but there was no sign of the voices he had heard before. He was not surprised. Every time he had attempted this since the incident on the green, he had heard nothing. So he listened to his new CD instead. There were very few people on the train. The guard who came for his fare (Hollerton was an unmanned station) looked familiar somehow, but Chris could not place him.

The train passed through the countryside. Chris knew he had never been this way before, and he looked at the passing scenery, but it was all much the same, so he did not pay close attention, until he first smelled, and then saw, smoke ahead. The window only opened at the very top, so he could not lean out, but he soon saw that there was a fire in the field at the side of the railway line. The train slowed down, and came to a halt.

The guard came back into the compartment, and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're very sorry, but due to the fire the line ahead is impassable. Burning trees and a telegraph pole have fallen across the line. I'm afraid the train will return to Hollerton Junction, where we will arrange for a bus to take you on to the next station, where another train will be waiting for you." As he said this, the train began to move again, but going back the way it had come.
Chris looked at the guard with a mixture of disbelief and resignation. Where had he seen the man before?

At Hollerton Junction, a handful of people got off the train. Chris wondered why such a long train had been put on for so few passengers.
What should he do? He felt fairly sure that if he got on the announced bus, something else would happen to stop him from travelling. Still, he waited to see if a bus would really turn up. He had a kind of feeling that producing a bus would be an extra inconvenience for Them, whoever They were.
When the bus duly arrived half an hour later, and all the other waiting passengers had got on it, Chris asked the guard for a refund of his fare, and headed towards his parked bicycle. Was that a look of relief on the guard's face?

As he cycled home, he suddenly realised where he had seen the guard before. He was one of the two strange men by the Am on the day the lamp fell from the sky.

Part Three, in which Christopher risks everything to escape

More parodies - from Agatha Christie to Damon Runyon