Written
in imitation of one of my favourite poets: John Hegley
Lynda
loves her llamas
And, uncomfortably aware that her neighbours
consider these creatures to be nothing more than child-surrogates
would like them to know
that although
her maternal instincts have been frustrated
by a certain lack of maternity
she feels that the joys of parenthood are vastly overrated
when compared with the gentle dramas
of keeping llamas.
She says it is true that, like children
llamas are loveable, cute and expensive
But they are not noted for
needing a lift home at four in the morning,
or getting themselves unhygienically pierced without warning
And, if you are a keeper of children,
as opposed to a parent of llamas
it is probably safe to assume
that in any social group
no one will thank you for a gift
of your little darling聮s poop.
