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Parodies |
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National Poetry
Day
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To
mark National Poetry Day, here are two poems by a cat and a dog -
at least, if their noms de web are to be believed: |
Ìý
By Lennie the Cat,
with apologies to Rupert Brooke
Ah God! to see net
curtains stir
In Ambridge, close to Borchester!
To smell the thrilling-sweet and rotten
Unforgettable, unforgotten
Slurry-smell, and hear the bees - although
Some time since they last mentioned these
Say, does the Aga greatly stand
Still guardian of that holy land?
With casserole, reheated tea
From Lakey Hill to Waterly?
And laughs poor Jazzer inanely still
Choking on an illicit pill?
Is Basp* a secret shy and cold
Nursery furnished with BrianÂ’s gold?
And even before the child is born,
Is JenniferÂ’s credence not outworn?
Deep plotlines yet, for to forget
The lies, and truths, and pain? . . . oh! yet
Stands the Church clock at seven oh two?
And is the story really true?
(*Baspofald,
a term for
Siobhan and Brian's baby)
Attributed to Kenton
Archer, but really by Merry Terrier with apologies to Philip Larkin.
They f*** you up,
do Phil & Jill
They may not mean to, but they do
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some more, for Dave & Shu
But what they will not do for me,
And I cannot understand
Is set me up with loads of dosh
For my latest business plan
Just a few thou, that's all I need
My ventures always thrive
Kathy can do the cooking
While I am on the skive.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And never pay the bills yourself
Find out more about this year's National Poetry Day on Radio 4
More
parodies - from Agatha Christie to Damon Runyon
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