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A Proper Solution
By JustJennyDarling
Just for once, this contribution to the Fantasy Archers topic of doesn't have an Archers connection. But we thought it was so good, it was worth sharing. Stanley Holloway would have understood.
The Queen was sat down in her palace
And dreading receiving a call
She was really fed up with politics
And wanted an end to it all.
So she summoned them three to her boudoir
And sat them all down in a row
With a plate of Nice biscuits and cuppa
And, folding her arms, had a go.
"Now listen you three, I'll be jiggered
If you carry on in this way.
You can't sort it out on your ownsomes
So this here Queen you'll obey.
First off, you will do it together.
All three, equal partners, that's flat.
Number Ten is a blooming big millstone
And you'll share it, my orders, that's that.
"You can make out a rota for governing
And work out your shifts, equal, mind.
And the wives can take turns in the kitchen
And minding the kiddies, not a bind.
You can each decorate your apartments
In suitable colours and styles
And you'll be civil to one another
When you meet on the stairs, you will smile.
"I'll make sure that Parliament's sorted
We'll make it in circular form
And the seats will be tastefully coloured
All equally cosy and warm.
We'll have none of this bickering either
And no more expenses to boot.
The others will live out in tenements
We'll get B & Q in to suit.
"There'll not be a duck house or luxury
You can all run the hoover around
And that nice copper on the doorstep
Invite him in, for I'm bound
He's fed up of standing there daily
a-watching the media there
I'll bet he would love a quick cuppa
And a nice little rest on the stair.
"Now Gordy, Now Dave and Now Nicky
You've heard what I say, and I mean
Everything I've put before you
You'll do it together, cos I'm Queen!"
With that she put down her cuppa
And showed the three out of the door
Crestfallen, they stood on the roadside
Cos they knew that her word is law!
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