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Parodies

Sixty Going on Seventy
by Doctor_Darling

gin and tonicAn Ambridge resident wickedly pinned, in this Sound of Music parody from the Fantasy Archers topic of .

I once was a babe
Not so long ago
With a figure to rival Jordan's,

I once was a babe
Then one day - oh woe!
I woke up and smelled the Gordon's
(The Gor-dons..)

I am sixty going on seventy
Time! I'm not giving in!
Preserved are my gifts
With face creams and lifts
And pickled with fags and gin.

I am sixty going on seventy
And I've still got the goods!
All Tiger asks
Is me in the basques
I purchase at Underwoods.

Totally unprepared am I
For skirts below the knee.
Brazen and bold and bared am I
And fuelled by HRT.

I'd like someone
Younger and hotter
I could tell what to do.
Ed, you're twenty going on thirty:
I'll take care of you.

(Dirty laugh. Much skipping on and off benches outside the Bull).

"Whoops! Tumbled over!"



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