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Parodies


Star-crossed Loafers
13 October 2001

From the Fantasy Archers section of the Archers messge board, Tessa Ing imagines how Ed's hospital visit might have gone, had it come from the pen of another Midlands institution.


Scene: Borchester NHS Trust, surgery ward

Emma: O noblest Edward! Though my father rails
'Gainst all and each who bears the Grundy name
I'll stand in court for you though William fails:
It's Ed on trial but Will that bears the shame.
In peril to yourself, you might have legged it -
For you were driving sober, far from legless -
And had you done so sure should I have pegged it;
A deer, my dear, our downfall, not you reckless.

Ed: O sweetest Em! That you should come to harm
Grieves me far deeper than my brother's spite.
And if our love should cost a leg, an arm,
Its worth's as great as my poor rhyme is shi... er...trite.

Emma: Let hearts be wrung, let audience' tears be shed,
For this Legend of Emma and her Ed.

[They embrace. Audience goes "Aaah," (or is it "Aargh"?)

Enter William ...]



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