Twelve Days of Ambridge
by Anne Marie Hawkins
On the Fantasy Archers topic of , several listeners have been contributing new lyrics to the old Christmas song. We combined the lines we liked best into this joint effort.
On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
A cartridge in a Purdey
On the second day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the third day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the fourth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Four bawling kids,
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the fifth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Five Casseroles,
Four bawling kids,
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the sixth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Six Emmas laying,
Five Casseroles,
Four bawling kids,
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the seventh day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Seven Clarries baking,
Six Emmas laying,
Five Casseroles,
Four bawling kids,
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the eighth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Eight Ruths a milking,
Seven Clarries baking,
Six Emmas laying,
Five Casseroles,
Four bawling kids,
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the ninth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Nine Grundys scoffing,
Eight Ruths a milking,
Seven Clarries baking,
Six Emmas laying,
Five Casseroles,
Four bawling kids,
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the tenth day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me:
Ten Lilians quaffing,
Nine Grundys scoffing,
Eight Ruths a milking,
Seven Clarries baking,
Six Emmas laying,
Five Casseroles,
Four bawling kids,
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the eleventh day of Christmass,
My true love gave to me:
Eleven pigs escaping,
Ten Lilians quaffing,
Nine Grundys scoffing,
Eight Ruths a milking,
Seven Clarries baking,
Six Emmas laying,
Five Casseroles,
Four bawling kids,
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey
On the twelfth day of Christmass,
My true love gave to me:
Twelve Berts a-rhyming,
Eleven pigs escaping,
Ten Lilians quaffing,
Nine Grundys scoffing,
Eight Ruths a milking,
Seven Clarries baking,
Six Emmas laying,
Five Casseroles,
Four bawling kids,
Three Dodgy deals,
Two pints of Shires,
And a cartridge in a Purdey!
Our thanks to Farmers Lung, Piers Plowman, Vicky Snowflakes