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The Whine List
The tasters have been active on the Fantasy Archers topic of . Here are their notes on a few local vintages:
Alistairian
This rather pretentious white is made from "Borchester Sour" grape. Primarily it is mild mannered on the pallet, but has a surprisingly bitter and somewhat stubborn aftertaste. (Product of more than one complex)
Pegwoolblast
A robust, old fashioned tipple made from the "Old Bat" grape, it is recommended for those with conservative taste buds. In days long past it was considered to be fruity, but now it is classed as bland and mildly annoying.
Blondeshula
A classy number with fantastic body and an expensive bouquet. A favourite frequently sampled by visitors on the recommendation of our more discerning regulars. (Best if laid down)
Kristofersgrappe
A young and yet earthy wine, with overtones of hoof, iron and smoke. Good for occasional clubbing evenings.
Willyumsbergerbrew
A solid, dependable wine. Overtones of badger, pheasant feathers and gunsmoke. To be drunk in the open air. Not a good vintage, maturing too early.
JungEdsBru
Ripening too quickly, this young and fruity beverage is just ready to blossom. A dangerous little drink, seems innocuous but beware, especially young girls.
Pipsqueak Creek
Young fresh and untouched - this lively yet conventional wine has failed to mature as yet. Taste redolent of school blazer, farm manure and piano keys.
Matt-ous Rose
A somewhat forthright wine ideal for tippling in the hot tub. Goes well with cigars and fag ash.
Blue Kenton
This wine doesn't work very well with food. Grape of uncertain Antipodean origin. Best laid down and avoided.
Snellenbosch
Fragrant, slightly pretentious, but with a good solid basis. Slightly acidic Sunningdale grape.
Patarcherillo
A full-rounded white, though prone to be fussy. Its Welsh origin is masked by organic overtones. Works well with cheese and other dairy products.
Jeckwolais
Robust and unassuming, this often forgotten vintage is reputed to have "hair of the dog" qualities.
Emmursbrew
A young immature wine which is best drunk now as it will deteriorate with age. Fruity with a distinct aftertaste. Meant to be shared with family or friends.
Our thanks to Amon C Paited (who started the thread), Jenny Darling, Benny the 16th, Lili Bolero, Vicky S and Eddie's Hat.
If you'd like to contribute to the list, go to .
More parodies - from Agatha Christie to Damon Runyon
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