Calling Customer Two
31 May 2002
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The most avid Archers listener would be hard placed to identify "Customer
Two", even with the assistance of the online Who’s
Who. But Denise Tomlinson of Twickenham feels that, if developed,
the character could make a real contribution to the programme. She’s biased,
of course, having played the excitingly-named Customer Two on stage at
The Archers’ 50th birthday
celebrations in Birmingham last year. She also met Ted Kelsey (Joe
Grundy) there for the second time.
The first was when Denise worked on Radio 4’s in the 1970s: "I mainly worked on the serials, which were readings
in those days. I worked with Pat McLoughlan [veteran readings producer
who died last year] and she cast Ted to do one of the readings."
After several years in radio, Denise (pictured above with her eight-year
old daughter Lily) moved into television in the late seventies, working
on network feature programmes like Ask Aspel, Pop Quiz and The
Rock and Roll Years. And then followed an "extraordinary" year on
Grange Hill. "All those children! They’d do things like swap their
backpacks around on purpose, just to irritate me. It was a nightmare for
continuity."
Denise left the ´óÏó´«Ã½ sixteen years ago to have children - boys William
and Patrick, and later Lily. Regulars at (the topic on the Archers message
board) are familiar with the daredevil exploits of "Dangerous" Patrick,
who thinks abseiling off roofs is a normal pastime for a 14 year old.
His mother retrained and worked for eleven years as an antenatal teacher,
but recently has concentrated on voluntary work, including chairing the
governing body of a primary school in her home town of Twickenham.
While Denise is talking, the doorbell rings. She returns with an amused
"Bloody Hell!" - the words incongruously voiced in her gentle, musical
tones - having told a cold-calling child of "about twelve" that
she’s not interested in purchasing a paved driveway! She continues talking
about The Archers, which she has been following all her life. As a regular
churchgoer, she never hears the omnibus, so the normally noisy family
know to be silent during the evening episodes. "I'd love the omnibus
to be on Sunday evenings again", she says, referring to a short -lived
rescheduling in the 1970s.
Denise only learned to use a computer at Christmas, but quickly found
The Archers message board and rapidly became a regular, now having posted
over a thousand messages. She was slightly taken aback when her very first
posting was quoted on the Archers website - particularly as it was about
"bonking with Brian".
Her financial director husband Nevil (not an Archers listener) is totally
baffled by the board, particularly the concept of the "cyber parties"
which happen in The Bull once a month. Denise is surprised herself at
the party animal persona that seems to erupt: "It makes me wonder if I
should have used an assumed name! The flights of fantasy that people get
up to are a revelation. You can do wild things - in a safe environment.
But if someone has a problem then people are so sympathetic and understanding.
It’s a very special place."
An early member of the Archers Addicts fan club, Denise has attended
many Archers conventions and events over the years. She owned a piece
of "Shula’s wedding cake" and won an Archers limerick competition. But
without doubt her triumph as Customer Two marks the highlight so far.
"I’m ready for the phone call at any time." And you get the feeling that
she's only half joking...
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