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3 Oct 2014

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Child Abduction

Last year, Andrea Gregory’s 2-year-old son was abducted by her estranged husband …

By 5.30pm, on Mothering Sunday, half an hour after the time at which baby Nathaniel was due to be returned by his father, Andrea was frantic with fear. Nathaniel did not appear, instead a letter arrived by bailiff. In the letter Nathaniel’s father said he wanted some ‘quality time’ with his son. He wasn’t going to bring Nathaniel back.

That night, Andrea discovered that the marital home had been sold a month beforehand to fund the plan. "He threatened this when I was 12 weeks pregnant. Nearly two years later he took Nathaniel," says Andrea. She describes her ex-husband as a control freak, "He’s controlling the pain I’m going through now."

The last time Andrea heard from her ex-husband was about a month after the abduction when she received a long letter from him. It gave no indication at all where they might find Nathaniel. In June, a video arrived. "I’d never seen my baby walk until I saw him on that video. It hurt me beyond words…" says Andrea. She has no idea where her son is now, or even whether he’s still in this country. From day to day Andrea copes, but with difficulty, "I cope because I know I’ll get him back. I have to be strong for Nathaniel. I’m crying inside the whole time - I cope because I talk - that does help. I keep active - my mind positive. It would be so easy to fall into that pit of despair, but somehow I can pull myself up."

Christmas and New Year were very hard for Andrea, and for her family who also miss their nephew and grandson. 1999 had gone, and Nathaniel still wasn't back. She says "I’m still trying keep positive to take the fear away - I’m very scared at the moment."

The pain is constant. Seeing a baby or child around Nathaniel's age is a sharp reminder of her loss. Even the thought of Nathaniel's return is not without concern. Andrea agonises about whether her son will recognise her, and worries about Nathaniel grieving because he's been taken from his father. Her voice becomes shaky, "What I want Nathaniel to do is to run into my arms, saying, ‘Mummy, Mummy’. But he won’t know me. But it’ll come back - we had such a bond. I know I’ll get him back. I just don’t know when. If I lose that faith, then I crash…"

Has a member of your family, or someone close to you, gone missing?
How did you cope with the situation?

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