 |
Complicated Families
Maurice Herson doesn’t know what his step-daughter, Stephanie, should call him - he believes 'step-father' is a description rather than a definition of a relationship…
"I’m Maurice, and I am Stephanie’s Maurice, not Daddy, cos she’s got a Daddy, and so I’m not that, and I’m obviously not a step-daddy. Step-father is not as bad as step-mother, but it’s not nice, somehow… You don’t say come here step-daughter or I’ve got a question to ask you step-father… for me the oddity is that I haven’t found an alternative, except my own name."
Maurice remembers how Stephanie used to be very precise about how their relationship was described in public, "Someone would say you’ll have to ask your daddy about that, and she’d say, ‘He’s not my daddy.’ or I’d say, "My daughter…" and she’d say "I’m not your daughter…"
Tim, Stephanie’s Dad doesn’t like the idea at all that her daughter might call Maurice ‘daddy’. But Maurice points out that there’s an inequality in the arrangement, after all, he lives with Stephanie and her mother as a family. Maurice is none too keen on the term "step-father." "It’s a description" he says, "whereas ‘daddy’ is an endearment or, a recognition of a relationship." Maurice’s quest for a more comfortable word for his relationship with Stephanie, led him to the dictionary, "The step bit of step-daughter or father comes from an old English-Germanic word which means bereaved or orphaned - so that’s not very helpful!"
Stephanie's mum, Sophie, wants to know if anyone’s come up with a marvellous name for the ‘step’ relationship, which no-one else has thought of. Maurice preferes the French, ‘beau-pere’, which means a ‘fine father’ - but knows this could lead into complicated explanations
Stephanie admitted that even the name 'Maurice', has the power to confuse, "When my friend was little, she said,‘I’ve got a mother and a father, but I haven’t got a 'Maurice', so she wrote it on her Christmas list.' Stephanie likes the idea that this might start a fashion for people believing that a ‘Maurice’ is a fashion item and that it's essential to have one!
Do you have a complicated set of relationships in your family?
Have you had to invent a word to describe
a particular relationship?
Why do you describe it in the way you do?
Ìý |
|
