大象传媒

In the mid-50s, when Paul Bura was about ten years old, he attended a school for the disabled in Sussex. He talks about the guilt and pain he still feels about the events of forty five years ago...

The children at Paul's school were mostly physically disabled. John was Paul's special friend there. They arrived at the same time, and saw each other through the inevitable period of homesickness. Paul became something of a protector of John, "although," says Paul, "I'm ashamed to say I very rarely protected him."

Both Paul and John were bullied in the home, "I was held down with metal chairs whilst my legs were stung with nettles, and beaten up from time to time." Asked about what happened when John was bullied, Paul clearly finds it difficult to relate, "I knew they'd got my mate John because I could hear his screams. They'd got him in the corner of the dormitary. He was half naked and they were beating him with pillows. But then I could see this was merely a distraction, what really made him scream was that they were beating the soles of his deformed naked feet with the heavy boots that we were given." Talking slowly and disjointedly, Paul goes on, "I was encouraged to beat his feet also, otherwise I would have got it. I lifted the boot and brought it down softly, and they shouted, 'Harder Bura - or you'll get it!' A master came in and they scuttled away like rats."

Did John forgive him? "I don't know," Paul says, slowly, "I tried to tell him that I'd tried to stop them. I think he believed me, but I was never absolutely sure." Their relationship continued, but it could never be what it was before the incident.

'Sneaking', however, was discouraged, so Paul felt he couldn't talk to anyone about the bullying. Eventually he told his parents, and after a struggle with the school authorities, they removed their son. Before he left though, Paul managed to overcome the bullying, "I was being threatened by a bully who said he'd crush my balsa wood plane - I'd been working on for hours - if I didn't go to see a certain master. The master wasn't there." As Paul returned to tell the bully, he heard a crushing sound, "I knew he'd destroyed my aeroplane. Something snapped, and I was filled with rage. I hurled a ball I was carrying at him; it bounced off his head. I dragged myself towards him, and he fled. The old adage is true - most bullies are cowards."

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