Michelle Hanson writes:
"As the week goes by and I become more exhausted I sometimes plan a divine lie-in for the weekend. Why not? It ought to be possible to wake up late and have breakfast in bed. I'm not unreasonable, I don't expect anyone else to get it - I'll get it myself. I don't need a fresh newspaper just the chance to read the three-week-old pile by my bed while I lie, propped up on cushions with my tray of steaming coffee, warm toast and selection of heavenly jams.
Years ago, I would never have dreamed of such a thing, when the daugther was still a child and the dog was young and spritely, I'd be woken at dawn for infant breakfasts, cartoons, dog walks and morning biscuits. But now they're older, things have changed. Daughter sleeps til noon, or mid-afternoon, the dog can't be bothered to move until 10am, but the lie-in still doesn't seem to be happening.
For a start, I'm not as good at sleeping as I used to be, I often wake up at 3am, stay awake in a temper for two hours, wake up again at nine in a temper, when the dog wanders in, or the milkman wants paying or the postman can't get a package through the letter-box, so the effects of that minimal lie-in are cancelled by the 2 hours spent lying boiling hot in a fury just before dawn. I'm no longer in the mood to start treking up and downstairs with a tray.
Now and again I do sleep all night. But trained to wake up at 7.30 I wake up at 7.30. And on the very rare nights I manage to stay asleep later, it's bound to be the Sunday which the council deliver the free skip outside and then everybody in the street runs up and down with wheelbarrows to make sure I don't go to sleep again. Or the dog may be sick, or my mother my have cramp in her feet and wake up screaming. Or it's the summer holidays and all the little children in our street come out to play and bounce balls around and set off the car alarms and make the dog bark and I don't fancy breakfast, cos I'm not hungry and I'm sick with temper and I want to move to the country ..."