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3 Oct 2014

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Home Truths - with John Peel 大象传媒 Radio 4

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Arranged Marriages


Amajit's story

"I鈥檓 sitting here worrying about my daughter Sharon who's getting married on 10th October. Like all parents I've been through all sort of things with her, this is a child who threw away my beloved yellow flaired trousers!

She's never disappointed me in any respect. Last year she completed her degree; this year she completed her professional exams to be a member of the Institute of Planners. I'm divorced...and a disabled person. Before my disability I was working in the oil and petrochemical engineering field and then I retrained as a solicitor. We had a lot of fun studying together, so we went through quite a lot of common experiences.

By the way, by religion I'm Sikh.

I had quite a lengthy conversation with Amajit, he's a very nice individual. He's got a sense of humour like mine - I can talk to him at my level and at his level. I鈥檓 seeing Sharon happier than I have ever seen her in her last 23 years - she is very happy with Amajit and he is family.

Sharon's story

"My main worry - I worry so much I can't even sleep at night - is who is going to do Dad's housework? I鈥檝e always had a lot of respect for Dad. He鈥檚 not like other traditional fathers, the only thing he鈥檚 ever been strict about is my education. He always pushed me to study.....I just wanted to do my 'A' levels and get a job - but Dad was having none of this.

About a year ago Dad asked me if I objected to him looking for a husband for me. I had no objections, as far as I鈥檓 concerned Sikh weddings are the best. I was introduced to about five guys before I met my fiancee. Before I met him, Dad had actually had an initial meeting with him and his family and given him a stamp of approval.

Dad arranged another meeting where we had an opportunity to talk. I remember it quite clearly because we were interrupted several times and I didn't get to ask the questions I really wanted to ask him. Then the next day Dad phoned me and asked: "Do you want to marry this guy or not?" I was just dumb struck - "do I want to or don鈥檛 I? I don鈥檛 know." It seems strange because, in the beginning, I was all for arranged marriage but when you are put in the situation it is so scary.

When I said, "yes", Dad just gave this big sigh of relief."


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