David emailed us to make a rather moving confession ...
"For a VERY brief period, only one day in fact, I was a bully. I've always been well built and never really suffered at the hands of a bully myself. Occasional
teasing about my build perhaps but never mental or physical torment.
I have no concrete explanation why I did what I did. The person in question was an easy target I guess. Maybe it was a power thing for me. I didn't have much confidence myself, despite an appearance to the contrary. With this boy I was able to exert some control and power. Slight of build, he had alopecia and eczemea and not much outward confidence. His name to the rest of us was "Spacka". We (including the lad being bullied)would all be about 15 years of age.
Prior to this event, the lad and I had never had any interaction of any sort. To all intents and purposes we were strangers to each other.
I don't even remember how it started that day but I called him names and I even hit him.To my surprise he began to cry. Instantly I regretted what I'd done. I
hadn't expected that. Of course at 15 I couldn't backtrack or apologise - that would've meant I鈥檇 lost face.
I don't seek sympathy or anything like that, but this event has lived with me since the day I did it. I've never been able to forgive myself for it. That's not to say I think of the event, the person or the consequences for him for him very often, maybe three
or four times a year. But the fact is I do still think of it and when I do I still feel a hot flush of shame, some 20 plus years later.
I can't remember the lad's name. I wish I could. I wish I could apologise to him for what I did. It was unforgivable. An apology wouldn't take away what I
did, I know that. Since then I've tried as best I can to live a life of non-violence and believe in an immediate apology for any action which causes pain, of whatever sort.
Maybe the person I bullied that day recognises himself. If he does, then can I say to him that I am truly sorry for what I did to you. I never bullied again."
