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Last week, Jaishree Misra told us how she and her husband were adapting to life with her mother-in-law in India after 20 years in the UK. This week, Sabina Ahmed, tells us how, 30 years ago, her choice of career got her thrown out of the family home in Hyderbad, India. She was 16 years old ...

When Sabina spoke of her plans to follow nursing as a career, her parents were against the idea, wanting their daughter to follow the family tradition of going to university, and taking up a more prestigious career path. But Sabina went ahead and applied for nursing training. She told her parents she'd been offered interview, "My father hit the roof!he said, 'You cannot bring disgrace on this family. If you want to pursue that career, you’re not coming back.' " Sabina, 16 at the time, returned from her interview to find her possessions had been put outside.

Sabina went to stay with an aunt who she describes as another "black sheep of the family" (marrying a Hindu was the reason for the family's disapproval). During this period, Sabina had no contact with her parents, "A lot of it was to do with keeping up appearances. My grandfather was a lawyer … everyone had been to university.. It has been said that intelligence skipped a generation … meaning me!"

In London, training as a nurse, Sabina discarded her elegant but cumbersome saris, "I changed my appearance completely - I felt liberated!"

But back home in India, Sabina’s father would not allow her name to be mentioned, or relatives to get in touch with her. Contact with Sabina’s family was maintained by her husband, a traditional Indian who visits his parents every year. Sabina's mother eventually wrote to her daughter. However, it was financial troubles in the family and Sabina’s willingness to help out that seemed to bring about some sort of reconcilliation with her parents … "One thing led to another …" says Sabina, laughing, "My parents are older and frailer, but my father still has a superiority complex. I am the only one, in his eyes, who's illiterate because I haven't got a university education. My son is a PhD, and my father is amazed he finds anything in common to talk to me about … it's too late for them to change."

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