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3 Oct 2014

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Foster Teacher

Teacher Paul Patrick explains how he came to be a foster father in unusual circumstances.

English Teacher and Head of Year Paul Patrick had a troublesome pupil called Roger Waters; "every time he was naughty he was sent to me, so he鈥檇 end up sitting at the back of the class and I鈥檇 spend time telling him off, and bit by bit we got to know each other." Paul learned that Roger had been living with foster families and in a hostel and had never seemed to have had much stability in his young life. At this point the social worker looking after Rogers suggested that as he got on so well with Paul that Paul should become his foster father.

Roger says it was a bit of a surprise to be fostered by his teacher; "it was a shock but it was alright...I was please as it saved hassle and moving around and being pushed from pillar to post". Although there鈥檚 nothing unusual in fostering a child, it was an unusual situation because Paul is is an openly gay man "I was in my work in the school and all the children knew." He explains "we need to take about it more when I became his foster father. He was living in my house and obviously he would want to have his friends around and there was no way I was going to pretend to be anything other than gay so they had to cope"

Paul and Roger鈥檚 neighbours knew Paul was gay because he didn鈥檛 hide it and as Paul says "it was an interesting bit of gossip". After Roger moved in he began to invite his friends around and this meant that a lot of 15 year old boys would be coming and going to the house.

One neighbour who didn鈥檛 know Paul and Roger thought something odd was going on and decided to call the police, and Paul found himself facing a police officer on his doorstep. After some explanations the situation was made clear to the police who Paul says were very helpful. Paul said initially he felt very angry; "how dare this woman interfere in my life....but I thought about it and she was doing it because she felt there was an issue and as a teacher I know full well that if you suspect the slightest level of abuse you have to do something about it. I went round and talked to her and it was all fine after that"

Was Paul鈥檚 sexuality ever a problem for Roger and his friends? Paul say not; "His friends had more problem coming into the house of a teacher rather than a of a gay man". Roger says that his father was a "a normal nagging parent, he brought me up, took me in and took care of me so he鈥檚 just my dad really"

Paul says that Roger鈥檚 friends found him no different to their own parents; "I wanted to know what time he was coming in, where he was going, why he hadn鈥檛 done the washing up, nagged him about his room...I was a pretty dull foster parent really"

Does it surprise Paul to find that this boy he expelled from school should end up being his son? "Surprise doesn鈥檛 express it...I鈥檓 gob-smacked but it鈥檚 the best thing I鈥檝e ever done in my life"

Have you welcomed an unexpected person into your family?
How did you fit in with each other?
What did you gain?

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