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Pet Traumas
Phil Hogan reflected on the advent of pet life in his family:
"I seem to remember when we got married the rule was we either had children or pets. You wouldn't need both would you? For years we only had each other and that seemed complicated enough - and we did get to share our neighbours cats who thought it was OK to defecate in the middle of someone else's lawn, or rip the bin bag open and leave chicken bones all over the path, little dogs that come yapping down the other side of the fence every time we hung the washing out. YAP YAP YAP!
It's funny how, as a society, we are happy to cut dogs tails off but leave their tongues attached. What do they bark at? A moth flying across the garden? Someone coughing in the next town?
So we weren't going to have pets, just children, which we did when we got the hang of it. °¿´Ç±è²õ…. there one…oops there's another, and a third. Whooaa! STOP!
"Come on, children have to have pets, to teach them responsibility and nurturing skills" said my wife coming over all ... fluffy.
"What do you mean - see how they like it?" I retorted.
"CAN WE DAD, CAN WE DAD, CAN WE?" chorused the kids.
My wife continued: "Rabbits don't eat very much, do they? A few dandelion leaves, carrots ... and they're no trouble ..."
By the time they had finished "rabbiting" I had this warming idea of a lovely, cuddly, low maintenance bunnikins which was going to bring joy into the household, turn our children into well-rounded human beings, entertain us with his frolics - even bring us breakfast in bed. Teach himself chess ...
Three weeks later ...
ME: "Have you fed you rabbit?"
CHILD 1 "Oh dad, can you? I'll be late for school."
ME "He's your rabbit - I'd be perfectly happy to have him in a pie!"
ENTIRE FAMILY: "Oh DAD…"
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