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This Isn't My Family
Nine years ago, at work, a portion of scaffolding fell on Philip Fletcher's head, and although wearing a safety helmet, he suffered major concussion. The resulting amnesia changed his life forever ...
When Philip, now in his early forties, left hospital and came home to his wife (he has since re-married) and his three children, his family knew that he was very ill, but didn't realise the full extent of the effect of his injury, "I couldn't put more than half a dozen words together to make a proper sentence. The last thing I recall, I was nearly 18, and I should have been in Wales where I used to live. I couldn't understand who everyone round me was."
Philip had been reassured that his memory would return gradually. Several weeks after his return home, and still unable to recognise his family, his doctor eventually diagnosed amnesia. Although assured it was temporary, Philip found that the situation didn't improve. "What didn't come back were the feelings. I didn't have any emotional ties to people." Even his children were strangers to Philip, "It was like instantly having a family of step-children. It must have been awful for them ."
Jennifer, Philip's daughter who was 10 years old at the time, found her father's inability to recognise her particularly difficult to cope with. "As my daughter got older, she recognised more what the problem does and doesn't mean. I can't remember her being born. I've got photos of the first ten years - I don't recognise them, but she does, which makes up for it ..."
Philip recalls that it took 5 years to reform a proper personality, "It's taken that time to find out who I am and what I'm like - I've just turned 40 and I think I've been robbed because I feel 27 or 28. There's so many of these years missing."
One positive aspect of Philip's amnesia was that it helped to begin the healing process after a 7 year rift with his parents, partly because he couldn't really remember what the disagreement had been about! It has helped Philip to talk to his parents and piece together memories, although as Philip says, "there's been so many missing years, that it's difficult to get a proper relationship going with my parents again ... "
Have you been through an experience which caused you to re-assess the importance of personal memories?
How did it affect your life or that of your friends and family?
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