大象传媒

At last the identities can be revealed of the culprit and the victim in the Today whodunnit.

In an attempt to make up for our total lack of coverage of the Eastenders shooting, we cooked up our own mystery in which we asked you to tell us who shot who and why?

Since then the entries have been tumbling in. So who did do it?

After her recent local difficulties many of you thought that Sophie Wessex must be the victim and accused various members of the Royal Family of pulling the trigger.

However, some of you thought it was actually Sophie shooting herself in the foot.

Others thought that some of us lot were involved. Kevin Withwers said that John Humphrys was shooting Anne Robinson both barrels for her recent attack on the Welsh.

"You are the weakest link. Goodbye," John was reported to have shouted as he gave her both barrels.

But Susan Pye reckoned it was "Gary Richardson shooting John, Sue and Jim with the same bullet for constantly taking the mickey out of his racing tips."

Peter Hammill had other ideas. It was obviously Phil Mitchell from Eastenders, he wrote, shooting Sue "after he found that he was the only person in Britain who had never heard of him".

But then the case appeared to be solved by Chris Hartley's email. "Ok I confess," he said, "I shot Anne Widdecombe, someone had to for pity's sake."

This proved to be a red herring. The vital clue lay in comments made by Guardian writer Polly Toynbee's on last Saturday's programme when she accused the government of over-reacting to the Foot and Mouth crisis.

This was all that super sleuth Susan Monk needed to piece together exactly what happened.

"The scene,a windswept lakeland fell, the victim Polly Toynbee, accidentally shot by a local shepherd,who was nudged from behind by a Herdwick sheep, that had been startled by a low flying jet, sent by President Bush to spy on a Chinese restaurant in the Durham area. The president's geography teacher sent her condolences to the Toynbee family."

At last the mystery was solved. Susan wins a bottle of champagne and a copy of Paul Donovan's book "All Our Todays : Forty Years Of The "Today" Programme".