Sleepless night last night, I miss the familiar comforts of
home, the delicate haven of my old bedroom, my Star Wars duvet cover,
my collection of bingo markers and the close proximity of Sophia.
Sophia
lived next door and resembled Felicity Kendal, only younger. I never
had the courage to ask her out, actually I never had
the courage to speak to her, though I did once clean her guttering.
That
isn’t a euphemism for anything. Her
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I
need to apply myself to having a greater impact on the world.
Not
in a devastating impact way like a meteor hitting the earth
and wiping out millions of lives, more a general surprise
to everyone, like when Will Young won Pop Idol.
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Morris
Telford |
guttering
was clogged. It needed cleaning. I cleaned it.
I waited
until she was out though.
The
first week of my personal odyssey hasn’t really gone as well as
I had expected - no front-page headlines, no outstanding triumphs.
I’m beginning to realise that good intentions and 13 years saving
money are not in themselves enough to change the world.
It
takes more than that; I need not only to be a man of compassion
but a man of action.
In
saying that, I have managed to travel further from home than ever
before, nearly 80 miles so far. I need to apply myself to having
a greater impact on the world.
Not
in a devastating impact way like a meteor hitting the earth and
wiping out millions of lives, more a general surprise to everyone,
like when Will Young won Pop Idol.
To
make a modest start I visited the Job Centre today and compiled
a list of alternative occupational opportunities that might appeal
to someone disillusioned with the fast-food service industry and
from these made up a number of ‘job-packs’ by utilising the photocopying
facilities at a nearby library.
I
just need to think of a way to distribute these packs to those poor
people I saw at that restaurant.
AM
- All
the television seems to talk about at the moment is situation with
Iraq.
I’ve
considered travelling to see Saddam Hussein and see if I can’t sort
things out but when I called Lunn Poly they told me travel to Iraq
is not currently a package they offer.
So
I’ve decided on a preliminary plan - to contact Tony Blair, (and
then possibly his friend George Bush) and explain how easy things
could be if we all just try to get along with each other.
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I’ve
considered travelling to see Saddam Hussein and see if I can’t
sort things out but when I called Lunn Poly they told me travel
to Iraq is not currently a package they offer. |
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Morris
Telford |
I feel
that a personal visit from someone who understands the inner workings
of a happy community can offer some useful pointers, if Tony realises
that what happens in the global village can be just as happy as
the village of Moreton Say in Shropshire, then we can put an end
to all this talk of war before the missiles start flying around.
I mean,
what if one of them misses London? It could hit Shropshire.
PM
- I tried to get hold of Tony, he seems to be avoiding me.
I did
speak to a number of the staff at Downing Street where Tony lives
and finally got through to a man called Gregory who sounded very
important.
I explained
at length my goal of a socio-political system based on Shropshire
village life, specifically Moreton Say and how important it is that
people just try and get on with each other.
He
promised to pass the message on to Tony as soon as he saw him. Gregory
also told me not to bother calling George Bush as he was sure Tony
would tell George all about me.
So
that’s world peace sorted and war averted. Not a bad day’s work.
Fresh
with enthusiasm from sharing my vision with Gregory yesterday, I
decided to revisit the fast-food restaurant, scene of my previous
disillusionments.
I ordered
a vanload of sandwiches and pastries from a local bakery and had
them deliver to the front of the restaurant and park outside.
I fashioned
a sign offering free food to anyone considering eating inside the
fast-food restaurant and waited for the place to empty.
Then
I entered the restaurant, a beacon of new hope for the grill chefs,
a glowing messiah of opportunity for the service assistants, and
started handing out the job-packs I had prepared to the otherwise
unoccupied staff.
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Today
was a good day, I feel my work here is done and tonight will
be my last night in Shrewsbury.
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Morris
Telford |
I also
offered a cash incentive to anyone prepared to leave there and then.
Twelve of the twenty staff left there and then, their spirits visibly
lifted like slaves unshackled and tasting sweet freedom for the
first time.
Oddly,
Robin, the 12-year-old acting supervisor was among the first to
go, I wish him well in his new life.
Unfortunately
Robin’s immediate superior did not see my actions as liberatory,
but as he put it ‘illegal and stupid and get out of my restaurant’.
I felt
it prudent to leave then.
Today
was a good day, I feel my work here is done and tonight will be
my last night in Shrewsbury.
My
mother rang me. After she stopped shouting I ascertained that Toby
arrived at my old home this morning.
I told
her I had given him permission to live in my room, and she started
shouting again, something about owning the house, axe-murderers
and no longer having a son. I could tell she was upset so I hung
up.
I’m
sure Mother will come to see past Toby’s grubby, menacing exterior
and appreciate his finer qualities.
People
need reminding that when life gives you lemons, you should concentrate
on their cheery colour and rich vitamin C content rather than the
bitter taste and acidic, stinging juices.
Spent
most of today travelling, not many people spoke to me. I’m in no
rush to get anywhere, which is just as well since I’m relying on
public transport.
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I explained to him that the likelihood of a Premier
division team signing an 18 stone, 57 year-old man with inch
thick spectacle lenses were quite slim and he should set his
sights a bit lower. |
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Morris
Telford |
I didn’t
sleep very well again last night; I feel the pressure of solving
the many global problems weighing heavily on my shoulders.
One
of the biggest obstacles to general harmony, as I see it, is that
people are too preoccupied with their own problems to worry about
other people’s problems.
Well
I don’t have any problems of my own, so I’m going to try and tackle
as many belonging to other people that I can, alleviate the pressure
on the general populous and thus aid international harmony.
I met
a man called Stephen Hampson on the bus today; he’s an office worker,
much like I used to be in my former life. He told me that instead
of spending his time pushing a pen, what he really wanted to do
was be a professional footballer.
As
gently as I could I explained to him that the likelihood of a Premier
division team signing an 18 stone, 57 year-old man with inch thick
spectacle lenses were quite slim and he should set his sights a
bit lower.
To
cut a long story short, he left me with definite plans to become
a referee.
I’m
sat on a bus and I just saw the most astonishing thing. A car overtook
my bus, it was blue, I’m not sure of the model.
As
it passed I saw the driver and I am absolutely sure it was the popular
rapper Eminem.
What
he is doing driving into Shropshire I don’t know, perhaps researching
material for a hard-hitting new rap-rock fusion concept album about
Shropshire.
The
bus just passed the blue car, it isn’t Eminem after all, not unless
he’s had radical surgery recently.
Just
had a nasty emotional jar.
I
never thought a road sign could trigger such melancholy, such anguish,
I’ve just passed a sign confirmed my worst fears; I’ve just left
Shropshire.
I’ve
been stopping at a few smaller towns and villages, prolonging my
journey and I think, subconsciously trying to stay in Shropshire
for as long as possible.
Now
I have forever left behind the glistening spires of Hodnet, the
rugged greens of Marchamley Wood, the commercial frenzy of Market
Drayton and the whimsical good folk of Bletchley.
The
A529 is now no longer a mystery to me, a golden highway leading
to unfathomable adventure, it is now just one of many roads I have
travelled, roads that I am leaving behind.
I
feel a transformation today, a new spiritual level has been reached,
I am sad to leave beloved Shropshire behind, but I can continue
stronger, a man with a mission, my heart swelled with inspirational
ideas to better humankind and save the world from tyranny and misery,
and uneven pavements.
I
accidentally got on the wrong bus today; I was aiming to find somewhere
to stay in Birmingham, but ended up heading towards Wales.
Due
to this, I was forced to revisit the emotional roller coaster of
re-entering Shropshire.
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I
have to put personal feelings aside if I am really going to
make any difference. |
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Morris
Telford |
The
landscape seemed to change before me, as if the land itself were
smiling to welcome me home, humming with welcoming warmth and safety.
I was
just considering popping home to see how Mother and Toby were getting
on when the bus left Shropshire and I was once again forced to leave
Shropshire and confront my feelings once again.
Emotionally
drained, I am heading back to Birmingham, but taking a circuitous
route to avoid the sensual allure of my homeland.
I have
to put personal feelings aside if I am really going to make any
difference.
Staying
in a 2 star hotel in Birmingham, at least I think it’s a 2 star.
The
sign outside has two gold stars and a third stain where it looks
like a star has fallen off.
I didn’t
like to ask the manager if this was because it had just dropped
off or been deliberately stripped from the hotel by tourism officials.
Judging
from the communal bathroom, I suspect the latter.
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I
have chosen to take the bull of fate by the horns of decision
and ride him into Birmingham.
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Morris
Telford |
Toby
rang me today, he was very grateful for my help and has settled
in at my old home. It gave me a real feeling of well-being to hear
someone tell me I had changed their life.
The
first of many. Once my Mother’s initial hysteria died down, she
apparently was quite welcoming and Toby has become my adoptive brother.
He
is staying in my old room, and he has even applied to work at my
old office, doing my old job. I warned him about the pitfalls of
working in office procurement.
He
told me he has met a local girl already and formed a fledgling relationship,
I couldn’t be happier for him and wished him well.
I felt
no twinge of regret at the hole I left in Moreton Say getting filed
by someone else so speedily, life is change and I have chosen to
take the bull of fate by the horns of decision and ride him into
Birmingham.
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