Yesterday my hubby bought me a new belt and bag.听
My vacuum cleaner works a treat now.
Sent in by Jeanie
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Blind man goes into a bar full of blonde women weightlifters and asks the barman "Want to hear a blonde joke?"
The woman next to him says, "there are 20 hard as nails blonde women in this bar, are you really sure you want to tell that joke?".
The blind man says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it 20 times!"
Sent in by Potter Dave
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Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. A Fch
Sent in by Ian Pace
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Two lions walking down the High Street - one says to the other, "Not many people about today are there?"
Sent in by Sarah Gregory
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Q. What's the difference between the contractors on the A500 and nits?
A. You can get rid of nits.
Sent in by John Price
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Two snakes in the desert,
one says to the other am I poisonous?
The other one said yes, why?
Because I've just bitten my tongue and I'm really worried!
Sent in by Nick
*听
Two snowmen standing in a field,
one said to the other can you smell carrot?听
Sent in by Luke Cawley听
*听
Two budgies sitting on a perch.
One says to the other,
"Can you smell fish?"
Sent in by Christine
*听
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Angus.
Angus who?
Angus me coat up, wut?
Sent in by Janet Plant
*听
Q. How do you kill a circus?
A. Go for the juggler
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Q. What did the number 0 say to the number 8?
A. I like your belt!
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A bloke went into a doctors' with a strawberry on his thumb. The doctor said "I've got some cream for that."
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Two cows in a field. One says 'Moo oo Moo moo'. The other one says 'I was gonna say that'.
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Two cannibals chewing on a clown. One says to the other, 'does this taste funny to you?'
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Q. Why are goldfish red?
A. The water turns them rusty!
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Knock Knock
Who's there !
Eskimo!
Eskimo who ?
Eskimo questions. I'll tell you no lies!
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