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John Smith otherwise known as John from Waiterhays (Waterhays...nr.Newcastle) has been writing Potternese poems now for close on 3 years.

His first voyage into the artistic rhyming couplet began whilst listening to Den's early breakfast show. Inspired by the folk of Stoke he began to capture the heritage and warmth of the locality in verse.

Stoke folk

Born and bred in the potteries he is proud to list his choice of residencies over the years to include most of the five towns, living at one time or other in 'neck end' of Longton, Bucknall, Stoke and Waterhays before being exiled to Madeley Heath.

A machinist engineer by trade, poet by night his interest are Curries, walking in the sticks and Port Vale.

He is married to Lynn whom he has been wed to for 29 years and has two daughters Sarah and Cheryl, a sonÌý Darren and grandaughter Lilly.

Past Poems

The Beast on Biddulph Moor

I said th' wife hey duck thee nowst we've had a busy week
Lets treat ourselves just for a change and have a run ite Leek

It was orait I supped a few it was a rait good nait
The trouble was I cudner drive I was in no fit state

They come in handy dunner they its good the wife was theer
She'd stayed on waiter all the nait she hadner had no beer

So she's at the wheelÌý I knew wots comin she didner know the way
And I'm haif cut there's no two ways I knew wer'e gonner stray

I said "hey duck which way ye goin?" she said"I onner sure"
Then moments later I saw a sign wer'e now in Biddulph Moor

It then got worse in front of us and staggering from side to side
A scary creature approaching us but theres nowhere to hide

I thought thats it weve had it now its gonner have our skin
It turned out nothing more than Den just left the local inn

Knypersley Nightmare

When we went Leek it was so goodÌýÌýÌýÌý I thought we'd goo again
Surely lightening dunner strike twiceÌýÌýÌý We wunner bump into Den

We started slow and had a mealÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý I said its time to drink
A beer or two a wine or threeÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Its top shelf time I think

The night went on its gettin lateÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý There seems a bigger crowd
The missus anner drunk againÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý The wench she's done me proud

Women and directionsÌý wellÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Again she's lost her way
It inner Biddulph Moor this timeÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Instead its Knypersley

Its dark and somethings lurking thereÌýÌý Just passed the reservoir
We carried on then suddenlyÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý Its climbing on our car

Again I thought we'd had our chipsÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý It was an awfull sight
Thayt never guess its Den againÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý The pubs just kicked him ite

Crisis time & Wine

(To be song to the music of 'Mistletoe & wine')

Its Christmas time,ÌýÌý we’ve barely got a dime

Instead of whiskey,ÌýÌý its lager and lime

No logs on the fire,ÌýÌý not gifts on the tree

Its credit crunch time,ÌýÌý for both you and me

We’d like to be spending,ÌýÌý we’d like to be saving

For places like Woolworths,ÌýÌý its looks like the ending

Its sad to see pot banks,ÌýÌý like Spode going too

The next generation, lets hope they pull through.

Potters Lunch Box

Thee waikst up and the sun is iteÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý surely everything should be fine

It’s breakfast time but I drop me toastÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýguess whatÌý its butter side dine

I’ll settle fer a cup o tayÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý gorra be work in aif an hourÌýÌý

But the milks bin ite the fridge o naitÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý turned yeller and gone sour

Le’ts have a gandy in the fridgeÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý i’llÌý get me sarnies cut

Yum yum corned dog with brine soaseÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý but I spilled it on me foot

The missus then took overÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýand got on with the wrappin

I knew I was gooin workÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý with a decent bag o snappin

Supermarket time

If the carparks ite to goo byÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý then the supermarkets full

The trolleys packed in really tightÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýit took a rait good pull

I’ve picked the one with the dodgy wheelÌýÌý I’m finding it hard to steer

I’m aiming straight between the aislesÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý but its gooin everweer

Decided to pull the thing insteadÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý its the only way get rinde

Wowkin backwards aif the wayÌýÌýÌýÌý folks thowt I’d lost me mind

Lookin fer things that are on me listÌýÌýÌýbut finding it pretty damn tough

Up n’ dine n’ left n’ rightÌýÌýÌý I’m sure thee hide the stuff

Two hours on me trolly’s fullÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý I finally gorrit sust

I’d had enough I want goo womÌýÌý I made it but only just

The checkites o’ av massive queuesÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý I think I’ve chosen rait

But the one I’m in it dunner moveÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý I’m gonner be ere o’ nait

Gettin gooin in the garden

The weather ite theer’s pickin upÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý It inner dark at nait

I’m getting gooin in the gardenÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýand wonner do it rait

I’m plantin ite me seedlingsÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý but there’s summit in the way

I wish I’d never put it theerÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý this bloomin great big tray

It’s one o’ them big conifersÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý it must be twenty foot toe

I should av kept it in the potÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý and shoved it gen the woe

Me plants are gonner get good careÌýÌýÌýÌý I’ll give em plenty o’ waiter

I wanner do a rait good jobÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌýÌý and grow a better taiter

To hear some of John's work spoken by the man himself click on the links below