SUMMER: My name's Summer.
I鈥檓 twelve years old and I have epilepsy.
Epilepsy's鈥 I don鈥檛 want to say it鈥檚 a 鈥榙isability鈥, but for me it鈥檚 pretty much as an impediment.
If a get too hot or if I get too cold or if there鈥檚 strobe lights or really, really, really bright lights and I look up at them, I鈥檓 going to a full blown seizure. Because I think it鈥檚 something that goes off in the brain.
It can happen anytime鈥 anywhere and I鈥檓 not aware that they鈥檝e actually happened.
It can go for like ten, maybe fifteen seconds.
It鈥檚 sort like I鈥檓 staring into space, like there鈥檚 nothing there except for me looking at thin air pretty much鈥
And I can鈥檛 hear and I can鈥檛 speak. I don鈥檛 even blink.
I know I鈥檓 there but I don鈥檛 feel like I鈥檓 there. It sort of feels like someone is feeling in for me.
I come round, I don鈥檛 remember what鈥檚 gone on, what鈥檚 been said, who said what, who鈥檚 written what on the board.
And I think it really, really affects my grades, because if I didn鈥檛 have as many absence seizures as I do, then I鈥檇 probably be in the top sets for all my lessons.
I used to get told off quite a lot in lessons because it looks like I鈥檓 not concentrating. And I鈥檝e tried to explain to them, but they just don鈥檛 listen. It doesn鈥檛 give me a lot of confidence.
Another type of seizure I have it鈥檚 called a 鈥淭onic clonic鈥.
Like, they can happen when you鈥檙e ill, they can happen when you鈥檙e in the middle of watching a film.
A tonic clonic lasts longer than an absence seizure. It鈥檚 a full blown spasm.
Starts off with my arm and then it moves to my leg and then it moves to my toes. I can鈥檛 get my words out properly! And I can hear but I can鈥檛 speak. It鈥檚 like every time I get to talk, it鈥檚 like I鈥檓 mute and my voice box doesn鈥檛 work.
A lot of people are petrified of asking me to go around their house because they don鈥檛 want the hassle of them looking after me after I鈥檝e had my seizure.
My mum has to come along on the trips because she has to administer medication.
I feel really embarrassed that my mum's there, because all my friends don鈥檛 have their mum there and I sort of feel I鈥檓 the odd one out.
It鈥檚 really frustrating. I love my mum and I know why she has to be there, but I just sometimes鈥 There鈥檚 that little bit of me that wants her not to be there.
I feel some people rub it in my face, that they鈥檝e gone on sleepovers or that they鈥檝e gone watched a film in 3D.
I feel really jealous and upset that I鈥檝e not been able to go.
Like if I do see a 3D movie, it鈥檒l bring on a seizure鈥
When I鈥檓 at home and I鈥檓 writing stories and I鈥檓 writing plays, I feel like I鈥檓 doing what I was made to do, but then when I get to school I just feel like I鈥檓 playing another person.
I feel like my whole school life is a play.
Like, when something goes wrong, the scenes are written wrong鈥
And you have to go back and rewrite the scene and then replay that.
I don鈥檛 feel like I鈥檓 me, I feel like I鈥檓 some sort of ghost out of a film鈥 And it鈥檚 never going to get back to that film, because that film is over now.
I sometimes think 鈥淲hy does it have to be me?鈥 I was born this way and if I wanted to act a miserable person, I could act like a miserable person. What鈥檚 the point of that when I have got my whole life ahead of me?
Video summary
A powerful and beautifully animated documentary that uses the first-person testimony of Summer, a 12 year-old living with epilepsy.
Summer explains the different forms of epilepsy that she suffers from; absent seizures and tonic Clonic seizures.
She talks about how her condition affects her everyday life and the emotional challenges she faces.
This animation will be particularly useful for teachers when covering understanding and respecting differences and similarities.
This is from the series: I Can't Go To School Today.
Teacher Notes
You could ask your pupils to write down suggestions of how they could help an epilepsy sufferer to feel as comfortable as possible with their illness.
Discuss these suggestions as a class.
This short film is relevant for teaching KS2, KS3 and KS4 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland and at 2nd, 3rd and 4th Level in Scotland.
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