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FRANKIE: Have you ever seen someone online doing something deliberately offensive or controversial? That’s called trolling.

Social media sites and apps are run by algorithms, kind of like computer programs. These algorithms treat posts with more comments as more popular. Trolls try to take advantage of this by posting things intended to cause outrage. When people comment the post gets promoted by the algorithm, then more people see it, more people engage, and it just gets more and more popular.

The best advice in this situation is ‘don’t feed the troll.’ In other words, even if you have something brilliant to say, best just to leave them alone.

And if you ever find yourself thinking about saying something mean to someone, you can probably follow the same advice: leave them alone.

Things can seem so impersonal on a messaging app or comment section and it can feel like no big deal to tease someone or leave a nasty comment. But even if you think no one cares, you can be sure someone is seeing your words.

Carney’s story is a real-world example of this. This is him, telling his story in his words.

CARNEY: In secondary school when I was 14, I started being bullied via online messaging platforms, a space where previously I felt safe and happy and could connect with my friends.

At first, I thought it wasn’t bullying, just silly messages I could ignore. Then I started to get them daily, messages that told me “I was nothing” and “nobody cared about me” and that “I should die because no one would know I was gone”.

Before I knew it, I stopped going online at all.

I was in my black pit. I felt I had no one, no one to open up to, no one who would understand. I felt alone.

I thought it was my fault, that something must be wrong with me. I felt I needed to fix this problem and I started doing things to hurt myself. I said to myself, if I do this then they will stop sending these messages. But it wasn’t making it stop. I felt embarrassed to talk to anyone, I didn’t want to go out, or to school, I just wanted to stay locked away.

Then one day I tried to end my life. I never thought I could do anything like that, but there I was doing it.

The next thing I remember was waking up and seeing my parents and my brothers around me, crying.

After coming out of hospital and getting back on my feet. I started seeing someone to talk about what had happened and how to make sure it didn’t happen again. This part of my life felt like learning how to walk again. I had to learn how to be a teenager, how to laugh and enjoy being alive.

I’m older now and over the years I have been able to do so many things I am proud of.

FRANKIE: The bullying stopped and Carney’s mental health improved. In fact, he is now a mental health advocate and app developer.

The most upsetting part about his story, though, is that it was actually his friends who were sending the messages. Somehow, they thought it was all a joke.

Now, Carney’s case may be extreme, but the mindset behind it is surprisingly common. A lot of the time, the perpetrators don’t see their actions as bullying. They think It’s just a bit of banter, or light-hearted fun. But if you’re not sure that everyone is having fun, it’s better to be safe than sorry. My advice is don’t post or message anything that you wouldn't be happy to say in person.

And if you or a friend are ever being bullied, it’s a good idea to speak to an adult you trust. Almost all social media and messaging apps allow you to report harassment so you should do that too. It’s also fine to take a break from your digital life anytime you want. And if you need support, you can reach out to one of the many resources available to help. We’ve included some links below.

Never suffer alone. Remember, a problem shared is a problem halved.