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Has your child turned into a little detective, asking you question after question after question?

One study found that on average, children aged between 14 months and 5 years asked 107 questions an hour!

And often the number of questions that children ask rockets up as they discover the power of one small word that can help them make sense of the world: 鈥榳丑测?鈥

The more they ask 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions, the more adults tell them about the things they鈥檙e interested in. So, you may find that in answering 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions, you鈥檙e faced with more and more of them - 'why?.. why?.. why?..'

To find out more about why children ask so many 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions, we spoke to clinical psychologist Linda Blair.

Why do children ask 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions?

According to Linda, children begin asking 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions as their brains develop and they discover more and more about the world around them.

鈥淎t around 2 and a half all sorts of connections are being made in your child鈥檚 brain, in particular the connections about how things are grouped together, as well as how one thing happening leads to another thing happening,鈥 she says.

Once they begin to understand how things they see are related to one another, they have a thirst for more of this knowledge. They soon realise this can be met by asking questions to the adults around them, and parents often start to get a barrage of 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions between the ages of 3 and 4. 鈥淎s they become more aware and more confident, they explore more. Then there are more questions to be asked - almost faster than they can take it in.鈥

It's uncertainty in how things are connected that leads to 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions, says Linda. 鈥淭hey ask 鈥榳丑测?鈥 because they don't understand how something has suddenly appeared, or how that thing there looks different than the one over here. For example, they think that dogs have short hair because their dog has short hair, but then they see one with long curly hair.鈥

Having adults answer their 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions helps children to feel safe and secure in their world.
Happy young parents playing toys with small daughter - stock photo
Image caption,
Parents often start to get a barrage of 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions between the ages of 3 and 4

There are two reasons for this, says Linda. 鈥淔irstly, they want you to clarify and explain things to them so that they can make predictions about the world and what will happen within it. Just like adults, children are most afraid when they鈥檙e not sure what is going to happen.鈥

The other reason is that it allows them to share with you something they鈥檙e excited by and interested in, making them feel important and loved. 鈥淏y sharing an interest with you, they feel valued, and that also grows their self-esteem.鈥

We used to think kids were asking questions simply to get attention. I don鈥檛 think so. Most studies suggest that they actually want the information and that they also want you to know that they鈥檙e interested in something.

鈥淭hat鈥檚 different than just asking for your attention. They鈥檙e asking to share what they鈥檙e loving with you.鈥

Once you and your child are sharing a focus on something that interests them and talking about it, they鈥檙e much more likely to be engaged and listen to the words you鈥檙e saying, as they鈥檙e actively looking to learn.

鈥淎s a parent you really have an opportunity at that point. When they don鈥檛 have any language, it really is hard to guess what it is they want to know about. But you have a strong tool now to make them excited about learning and discovery.鈥

Happy young parents playing toys with small daughter - stock photo
Image caption,
Parents often start to get a barrage of 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions between the ages of 3 and 4

How to respond to children's questions

Cartoon of a child with magnifying glass.
Image caption,
You can encourage a love of learning by asking your child questions about everything they're curious of.

One clever way of responding to a 鈥榳丑测?鈥 question, is to turn the question back on to your child, says Linda, by asking them in return 鈥榳hat do you think?鈥.

Their response can give you a better idea of what they really want to know. Take as an example, your child asking 鈥榳hy is it raining?鈥. 鈥淭hey may want to know why it鈥檚 raining for reasons that you couldn鈥檛 dream of. And we often answer from our view before we find out what theirs is,鈥 says Linda.

By asking them questions in return, you can find out what their level of understanding is and work out what information they really want. 鈥淢aybe what they really want to know isn鈥檛 the literal reason why it鈥檚 raining. Maybe it鈥檚 what they should wear when it鈥檚 raining? Or if they are allowed to run around in the rain?鈥

The quicker you find out what they really want to know and can provide an answer, the quicker you鈥檒l put an end to the endless chain of 鈥榃hy?鈥 questions too. 鈥淭he reason they keep asking more questions is often because you haven鈥檛 figured out what it is they really want to know. Once they know it, they鈥檒l probably stop. So just keep asking them back in a nice way.鈥

Another advantage to this approach is that you鈥檙e encouraging them to be curious and imaginative about the world around them. 鈥淏y asking 鈥榳hy do you think?鈥 back to them, you鈥檙e developing their imagination. You鈥檙e also giving them self-confidence through praise when you say, 鈥業 never thought of that, that鈥檚 a great idea鈥, before you say 鈥榟ere鈥檚 what I think鈥︹欌

鈥淭hey鈥檙e learning the thing that every scientist must know, which is that there isn鈥檛 one answer. There鈥檚 a number of possible answers and they must decide which one is best.鈥

But what if you ask them what they think, and you鈥檙e met with a response of 鈥業 don鈥檛 know鈥 or they just aren鈥檛 able to give an answer? In this case, Linda suggests that you make a best guess at what they want to understand better and explain it to them as best you can.

They might ask more 鈥榳丑测?鈥 questions, which will hopefully help you to narrow down exactly what it is they're hoping to understand. The more you talk to them, the more likely they鈥檒l build their vocabulary and be better able to express themselves in future.
Cartoon of a child with magnifying glass.
Image caption,
You can encourage a love of learning by asking your child questions about everything they're curious of.

What do I do if I can't answer my child's questions?

Linda is keen to stress that it鈥檚 ok not to know the answers to everything your child asks you.

One of the biggest gifts you can give your kid is to engage with them in a joint search for knowledge.

鈥淪ay to them things like, 鈥榓ctually, I don't know why there are so many stars in the sky. But shall we find out together?鈥. You're demonstrating that nobody knows everything and acting as a role model by starting to find out with them. You also give them one of the greatest gifts that you can: encouragement to keep on learning throughout their lifetime.鈥

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